Just a Human Game
by faeryespell
Summary: Bella knows that Rosalie’s human life was unwillingly cut short, so she suggests they play only the most human game there is: the Game of Life. It starts out fun, until the Cullens begin to take it a little too seriously... and let secrets unfold.
1. Loans and Marathons

**A/N**: I wanted to give writing humor a shot, so here it is! I hope it's funny enough; I think I read it too many times to actually see the humor myself… :D I don't own the Twilight characters or the Game of Life. I just put them together! I love the Game of Life, don't you:D By the way, I have Bella explain how to play it here, so I apologize if I get some of it wrong… anyway, happy reading! Please comment!

Just a Human Game

Chapter One- Loans and Marathons

8:04 p.m.

"Bella, what –?" began Edward, but Alice silenced him with a look. He frowned at her, but she shook her head. "Alice…"

"It's better if you find out for yourself," she said, eyeing me gleefully. I grinned back at her, hardly able to contain my excitement as well. The Cullens were in for a fun night.

"Where's Rosalie?" I asked, fingering the package impatiently. In a blink of an eye the blond goddess that was Edward's sister stood before me wearing a mild scowl, which I blatantly ignored. I thrust the package into her hands.

"What's this?" she demanded softly.

"Well, hear me out, okay, before you say anything. I felt guilty that you weren't able to, you know, experience life as a human as you should have…" Rosalie's eyes narrowed dangerously, but I hastily continued: "So I thought that we should play a game, only the most human game I can think of!"

"A game?" repeated Edward incredulously. Rosalie glanced at him, and he shot back a warning glare. He must've caught her thinking murderously –not that I blamed her. This was probably one of my not-so-brightest ideas yet, but I figured it was worth a shot.

"Cool, what game?" came Emmett's deep voice, and he appeared next to Rosalie, eyes twinkling enthusiastically. He draped a thick arm around his wife's shoulders. "Come on, dear, I'm sure it'll be fun!"

"OH! I wanna tell!" squealed Alice, shooting a hand into the air.

"What's the Game of Life?" asked Edward suddenly. Alice let out a loud groan as she smacked her brother's arm.

"I said _I_ wanted to tell!" she exclaimed, her face pulling into an indignant pout.

Rosalie tentatively opened the package, and slowly withdrew the board game's box. The words 'THE GAME OF LIFE' sprang out from the cover in bold, colorful letters. As I eagerly watched her examine the box, Carlisle, Esme and Jasper entered the room, so silently that I only noticed them when their faces peered over Rosalie's shoulder.

"This looks like fun," said Esme approvingly.

"Why don't you and Carlisle join us?" I suggested immediately. The idea of playing the game was becoming a stimulant. "I'm sure there are enough cars for all of us!"

"Cars?" echoed Jasper. Seven pairs of golden eyes trained on mine quizzically.

I shook my head. "Let me up the game first, and then I'll explain."

Rosalie was still scowling when I retrieved the box from her and placed it on the Cullens' wide dining table. "Okay," I said, removing the cover and taking out the box's contents one by one. I spread out the intricately-designed game board and began to attach to it the charming yet unnecessary miniature buildings.

"Not very realistic," I heard Rosalie mutter.

"I think it's cute!" sang Alice happily. Chuckling, I began to distribute the multi-colored paper money and the playing pieces.

"So basically," I began my lecture, "we have to go through _life_. Everyone starts off with the same amount of money, and everyone gets their own car, too, like you know, the player's piece. You can even put yourself in it, see, with these small people!" I took a single, tiny pink peg and pushed it into the first of six holes in a blue car, the 'driver's seat' hole, that is. "Pink if you're a girl, and blue if you're a boy, obviously. You're supposed to go round the whole board until you get to the finish. The winner is the one with the most money at the end of the game. To see how far we go on the board, how many spaces to move, I mean, we use this…" I placed a top-like device in its respective place on the board.

"Oh, we spin it?" asked Edward, whose forehead was creased into an adorably confused frown.

"Yup, and that's also how we see who goes first, and second, so on and so forth. So let's start off with that! I'll explain as we go along. So, players, choose your car! Oh no, wait, there are only _six_ cars…"

"I'll share mine with you," offered Edward, his face breaking out into a dazzling smile. "However …" Before I could even blink, a blue peg was seated where my pink one had been, which was now beside the driver's seat. "I'm driving."

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "I chose that car, so I'm going to drive it!"

"Speed always wins the game," Edward answered in mock seriousness.

"Speed won't get you _anywhere_ in this game!" I retorted. "Luck is all you need!" His reply was a simple laugh that left my insides crumbling. "Fine," I said irritably.

"Esme and I shall share the orange one," said Carlisle, taking the orange car and examining it with fascination. Esme picked up a blue peg and a pink peg and placed them into the car. "So, that leaves–"

"I WANT THE YELLOW CAR!" screamed Alice, her hand shooting out and grabbing the yellow piece and a pink peg. "And I name thee, Porsche Number Two!"

"I'll have the red," said Rosalie dully, although I did notice that she was no longer scowling; if anything, she looked mildly interested, which was a good thing, no doubt. She picked up a pink peg, and examined it in a way that seemed almost narcissistic. Well, as long as she wasn't angry.

"Green's mine," said Emmett, holding up the green car proudly.

"Happy with the white," said Jasper cheerfully, taking the last playing piece.

8:16 p.m.

I took my seat next to Edward and the rest of the Cullens dispersed themselves to occupy the remaining seats. A heavy feeling of excitement hung in the air –I could tell most of it radiated from Jasper– as I proceeded to count the paper money.

"Okay, I'll be the banker, which means I handle all the finance…"

"Looks like being married to her will be a piece of cake, Edward," said Emmett jokingly, winking at his brother.

I let out a short laugh. "We'll see about that. Anyway, we each start off with ten thousand dollars. And let's see who gets to go first!"

A few minutes and a number of pointless arguments between the siblings later, the wheel of fate had decided that Jasper held the first turn, Edward and I next, Rosalie third, Carlisle and Esme fourth, Alice fifth and Emmett last.

"Okay," I said, pointing at the two paths that stood before Jasper's white car. "Choose 'College' or 'Career'. 'Career' is a shorter path, and if you take it you get to pick a career and then your salary. Choose 'College', and you have to get a student's loan from the bank, to pay for school stuff, whatever. It's a longer path, but you get more career options. So what'd you want?"

"Career," replied Jasper confidently.

"Oh, Jasper dear, I thought you wanted to study more," said Esme in a disappointed tone. "You always were interested in learning."

"What happened, son?" asked Carlisle seriously.

Jasper threw a sheepish shrug at them. Smiling, I picked up a pile of cards and fanned them out face down before him.

"These are the career cards. Choose only one, but if its says 'Degree Required', put it back and choose another one."

Rather hesitantly this time, he picked out a card and turned it over. "Oh, great, I'm an artist. Even my _job_ is reflecting my abilities!"

"Ah, don't let it swell your head," laughed Emmett, snatching the card. "So what's the pay, anyway?"

"Each career has its own colors," I explained, pointing at the bar of two colors below the comical picture on the card, and then picking up another pile of cards. "The colors help you choose your salary. The artist card has the colors purple and red. Now, _these_ are the salary cards, and you get to keep the one with the corresponding color…"

"Now _that_ is not realistic," spoke up Rosalie. "Choosing your own salary?"

"Hey, as long as he provides the money, I wouldn't be so negative about it!" snapped Alice. Then her head whipped around to face Edward. "I heard that!"

"I let you hear it," he replied casually. I looked at him curiously, and he shook his head in amusement. "As long as he provides the money for her to spend on, I told her."

"Don't worry, honey, my salary shall provide that and _more_," said Jasper, patting his wife's shoulder reassuringly. Her features relaxed as he pointed a pale finger at the career card. "See? It says I get ten thousand dollars every time someone buys my art, spins a '1', that is. And my _salary_ shall be–" He drew a salary card from the pile in my hands.

"EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!" cried Alice. "You must be an _incredible_ artist! That's enough for the new Porsche Cayman S I had my eyes on!"

"You were going to have _me_ buy Porsche Number Three?" said Edward suddenly, his golden eyes widening accusatively at his sister.

"Given that I've done so many favors for you, yes!" replied Alice with a shrug. "And it is _not_ just another Porsche! For your information, the Porsche Cayman S can go from zero to sixty miles-per-hour in just five-point-one seconds!"

"Oh, so it's better than the 911 Turbo, then?" said Edward coolly.

"No, you're NOT taking that away from me!"

"Jasper, spin!" I exclaimed, my mind on the brink of confusion. The game had only just begun and already it was a cause for war and bloodshed, no humor intended. "You chose your job, your salary, now spin to see how far you go!"

"Okay, okay!" said Jasper hastily, flicking the wheel. "Yeah, a '9'! Gentlemen, start your engines…" He proceeded to move his car forward along the board. I glanced at Edward and Alice, whose gazes still held together in a tight lock.

8:27 p.m.

"'Win marathon!'" whooped Jasper, pumping a fist into the air. "Ha, I get to collect ten thousand dollars! I like this game!"

"When did you enter a _marathon_?" demanded Emmett, as I handed Jasper his money. "You're hardly athletic!"

"Says the person who always loses in a race," countered Jasper.

"If I may point out," spoke up Carlisle, "you boys always lose in a race against _me_."

"Oh, then you should have entered the marathon as well, dear!" Esme's face broke into a wide, enthusiastic smile.

"Yes, you should've, Carlisle," I agreed laughingly. I then took pleasure in visualizing the boys literally eating the dust off the eldest vampire. The image only made me laugh harder.

"I believe it is our turn now," said Edward, and I nodded, trying to calm myself. This was going to be a long night. It was a good thing Charlie had taken the weight of curfew off my back.

"So, Edward, what do you think–"

"You _know_ I want you to experience college," he said simply, positioning the blue car in the 'College' path.

I knew there was no point in arguing with him. Still, I couldn't resist myself. "Why? I'm about to be become a vampire anyway. So we have to make this game as practical as possible."

"Indeed, my love, but in this game I see nothing that says 'Bitten by a vampire, lose a turn'. So be realistic and go to college."

"But I have to take a loan then!" I wailed, pointing at the box of paper money. "See, the rules are that if I go to college, I have to borrow a hundred thousand dollars, and then pay it off with _interest_! I like myself debt-free, thank you very much."

"Debts are a human experience, Bella," said Rosalie smugly. I scowled at her. Oho, so this was payback for making her play the game. I wasn't giving up so easily.

"Edward, you're making me take 'College', which is a longer path! And you said speed always wins the game! How can we win if we're taking the long way?"

"You said luck wins the game." Edward was wearing a grin on his face now; he was obviously enjoying my discomfort. "So even if we take the longer path, luck will get us by. And, if I recall, you said that the winner is the one who finishes with the most money. By going to college you get more time to _obtain_ that money, is that not correct?"

I gaped at him, at a loss for words. He had won me over. "You, you… manipulator!" I spluttered, folding my arms stubbornly.

"Manipulation has nothing to do with this, Bella. Now go to college, or I shall resort to drastic measures."

"Ooh, do that!" squealed Alice. I stared at her in horror. I had a faint idea what 'drastic measures' were in Edward's standards, but I was certainly not going to risk it. My ribs were still bruised from the last time.

"Fine, fine, I'll go to college!" I grabbed a handful of paper money and slammed it on my current account. I should've borrowed Monopoly from Angela instead. But then again, we'd be arguing over who possessed more land. Edward motioned to the game wheel with a tilt of his head, and I rolled my eyes and gave the wheel a hard twist.

"That's it, a '1'?" I gasped. "You call that _luck_?"

Emmett and Jasper both let out a snicker. Edward, however, tapped the space that the car was supposed to move to. "Yes, I call that luck. You get a scholarship! 'Collect twenty thousand dollars' it says. I see you're doing very well in college. And we are well on our way to winning."

"Whatever…" I grumbled, taking more money from the 'bank'. "Who's next?"

"I am," said Rosalie, fluidly taking a career card and flipping it over. "How ironic, I'm an athlete."

"So you're the one who trained me for the marathon," said Jasper jokingly as Rosalie then drew a salary card.

"Well, that would be convenient, considering that I receive only twenty thousand dollars a month. As I am your trainer, you grant me a fee of ten thousand dollars a month. Now, pay up."

"_What?_" Jasper slammed both hands upon his scraps of paper money. "I need my wealth for survival! You know how much Alice spends each week!"

"And that's not even in the rules!" I pointed out, only to receive another of Rosalie's famous glares.

"Good," she hissed. "If it's not in the rules, then that means it's not _against_ any rules. Cough 'em up, Jasper, whenever you're ready." With one swift motion she spun the game wheel.

"We really should do this more often," said Esme merrily, leaning her lovely head against Carlisle's shoulder. "Bella, how did you come to know of this game?"

"Well, I-" A sharp gasp from Rosalie interrupted me.

"I have to _rent_ an apartment?" she cried, her face twisted in angry shock. I looked down at the space where her car had moved to; she was to pay five thousand dollars, and I was certain that, if she were ever to take Jasper's money by force, this would be the time. Sure enough, she threw him a stony glance as she flung a five-thousand-dollar note at me.

"Honey, did you rent that villa with the breathtaking view of the ocean?" asked Emmett, smiling mischievously. "You know the _really_ private one with its own Jacuzzi?"

"Emmett, I beg you, stop tainting my mind with disturbing images," moaned Edward, exasperatedly pinching the bridge of his nose, as was the usual.

"I think your mind's already beyond tainted." I giggled. "I'm sure it's a whole playground of dirt by now."

"'Dirt' would be an understatement," he said darkly. "It's sewage filth."

"Hey!" Emmett clutched his chest dramatically. "At _least_ I'm giving you ideas. So if ever you get a Jacuzzi, you and Bella could try–"

"Do _not_ finish that statement, _please_," cut in Jasper, eyeing his brother in disgust. "Your lust is practically drowning me."

8:35 p.m.

Carlisle let out a lighthearted laugh as he turned to Esme. "Well, dear, it is our turn now, is it not? So, what do you think, shall we go to college or start a career?"

"Oh, it's been so long since I've been to school," said Esme wistfully. "I wonder if I can take it; the educational system has changed over the decades." She giggled and gave her husband a familiar look that told me they were having yet another of their telepathic conversations. "Well, if you think it adventurous, then alright."

I handed them the bank loan notes. "Here you go, a hundred thousand dollars. Although I don't think you exactly need it, seeing as you know everything there is to know already, why bother buying textbooks. You _have_ been around for some time now."

Carlisle only chuckled in reply, as he spun the wheel. "Oh, wonderful, a '6'! You do the honors, Esme."

Their orange car landed on a space that stated 'Study abroad. LIFE'. The pair looked at me expectantly, and I handed them a small cardboard piece. "This is called a LIFE tile. Don't read what's under it, though, only at the end of the game. LIFE tiles give you more money to help you win. You get one each time the space you land on says 'LIFE'. There are additional LIFE tiles where you end up, too…" I pointed at the two miniature houses at the centre of the game board, at the end of the serpentine car track, that is. "You get four LIFE tiles if you decide to live in Millionaire Estates, but none for Countryside Acres. That's about it."

"Ha," said Rosalie, "interesting. Get a _LIFE_. This game is darkly humorous."

"Oh, wait, I forgot to explain…" I grabbed a large pile of cards that I had completely overlooked. "If you want, you can buy insurance cards for your car and house, which you get later on. That way, if ever some major disaster happens to them, you won't have to pay. Also, you can buy one stock card, from which you get money every time someone spins the number on your stock card. You can buy the cards at the beginning of your turn, so just tell me if you want one. Car insurance costs ten thousand dollars, stock cards cost fifty thousand dollars, and house insurance depends on the house you get later."

There was a low grunt from Jasper. "This is potentially _the_ most complicated game I've ever played," he mused.

"How do you know the rules so well?" asked Edward, a fine eyebrow raised curiously. I shrugged.

"I played it _too_ many times with Angela and her boyfriend Ben. It's their favorite game. No, it's their _obsession_."

"Two humans addicted to a game…" said Emmett thoughtfully, drumming his fingers on the table's varnished surface. "Two humans _playing_ with their addiction…"

"ARGH, GROSS!" yelled Edward suddenly, his chair dragging back with a loud screech as he jumped to his feet. "EMMETT!"

"What?" Emmett's face wore a look of perfect innocence, but I could see his golden eyes dancing playfully.

"My mind has been corrupted!" cried Edward, grabbing the sides of his head with both hands.

"Now, dear, try to behave yourself," murmured Rosalie, stroking Emmett's hand in a very sensual manner. He shot her a wide grin, eyebrows waggling suggestively.

I was just all too glad I couldn't see what Edward had seen. I shook my head and squinted, trying to focus my attention on the board game. Alice was next to spin.

**A/N**: Whatchoothink:D Please, pretty please review and I shall ever shower thee with roses and candy in your dreams!! Suggestions are welcome, too!


	2. Insurances and Family Practices

**A/N**: I'M IN CARAMEL BLISS! Thank you all so, SO much for reviewing! Daym, I've never seen such a big response to just one chapter!! I SHOWER THEE ALL WITH ROSES AND CANDY! Woohoo, my story's funny! Heehee that was all I needed assurance for… hope you enjoy this chapter! By the by, I'll be posting a poll soon, and _you_ get to decide who wins or loses:D

Chapter Two- Insurances and Family Practices

8:42 p.m.

My gaze fell on Alice just as she uttered a loud squeal. "MY TURN!" she cried, and in a motion so swift I had barely time to register it, she flicked the Career and Salary cards in my direction. "Come on, hold them out!"

Slightly alarmed, I did as I was told, starting with the Career cards. Before I knew it, Alice was holding one between her slim fingers and waving it in the air.

"I'm a sa–" she began proudly, and then she paused. As she stared at the card a sudden look of utmost terror crossed her face. Jasper leaned sideways to inspect the card, but just then Alice let out a loud, heartbreaking wail. "I'M A SALESPERSON!"

The rest of the Cullens instantly broke into laughter –with the exception of Jasper, who merely grinned sympathetically– but it took me a moment to discern the cause of her sorrow. Not that I needed to, for Alice then burst out again.

"HOW CAN A SALESPERSON _SHOP_? I _need_ to shop and yet I have to make _others_ shop? This is the one time I get to relive my human life and it turns out to be a conspiracy against me! What did I do WRONG? Bella, please, _please_, can I choose another card?"

Rather unwillingly, I shook my head, and cringed as her face twisted into the most pathetic expression I'd ever seen.

"Who said life was easy…" said Emmett between snickers.

His comment only made matters worse; Alice's head fell upon the table with a resounding crash, her hands thrown up in despair: a very pitiful sight, indeed.

"Um, Alice…" I started meekly, fanning out the Salary cards, "choose your salary…"

She groaned, looking up, and in a flash a card disappeared from my hands and into hers. "Only thirty thousand dollars?" she moaned. "It's red… is that color even _right_?" She peered anxiously at her Career card. "Red is the newfound bane of my existence…"

"Must you be such a drama queen, Alice?" said Rosalie, rolling her eyes. "You _do_ know you have the advantage in this game? You can see who wins or loses."

Alice stuck out her tongue at her sister. "I don't want to ruin the element of surprise, for your information. I'm trying to keep my mind's eye closed." She grudgingly spun the wheel. Her movements held less enthusiasm now, as compared to moments before. Before the wheel could stop spinning, though, a heavy sigh escaped her lips.

"Emmett, your turn," she grumbled, just as the wheel stopped on '6'. I counted the spaces on the board, and tried to stifle a grin; her car was to land on 'Lost! Miss next turn'. She may have been trying to close her mind's eye, but it seemed like bad things that would come _her_ way would certainly not be left unnoticed.

She moved the yellow piece slowly along the track, after which she dropped her chin onto the surface of the table.

Cheerfully, Emmett held out his hand towards me. "Give me the loan, I'm taking college!"

"Those poor people won't know what hit them," remarked Edward. He had sat back down, but was keeping a wary eye on Emmett.

"What do you mean by that?" I inquired curiously as I handed Emmett the bank loan notes.

"Well, let's just say that college doesn't quite agree with Emmett. There was this one time he snuck into one just for the mere fun of it, saying he was a transfer student."

"How'd he do that?"

"You forget that we have forged papers ready for anything." Edward winked at me, and I giggled, as had become a reflex to the gesture. "Anyway, he was offered a place in their football team. Then came a particular game when, well…"

"Hey, in my defense, he was supposed to be sitting in the bleachers!" snapped Emmett.

"What? What happened?" I asked eagerly, a number of images swirling in my head.

Edward's mouth curled into a smug grin. "He kicked the ball too hard. It hit one of the other team players, and he was sent literally flying over the goal post. It was just a good thing the ball didn't go right _through_ him…"

"_Seriously_?" I gasped.

Alice let out a silvery laugh then. "The poor guy was in a full body cast for half the year!"

"I remember that patient," said Carlisle thoughtfully. "The boy was in shock for quite a few weeks, if I'm not mistaken…"

"His fault, not mine," muttered Emmett, shrugging nonchalantly. He spun the wheel, which stopped on '3', and he moved his car to 'Make new friends. LIFE'.

"Oh, isn't that nice," commented Esme in the honeyed, motherly tone that was so typical of her.

Emmett jutted a finger directly at Edward's face. "Ha! College _is_ befitting of me! See how easily popular I have become?"

"I think Rosalie's pride and vanity have finally rubbed off on you," said Alice, shaking her head in mock disapproval, earning a steely glare from her sister.

Edward remained smiling. "And I think you interpret 'make new friends' wrongly, Emmett. In my opinion, it means you _have_ to make new friends, and not you _do_ make new friends."

Emmett shot a feigned look of hurt at his brother. "You torture me so just for giving you sex advice," he said sadly.

"Precisely my intention," hissed Edward coldly. I gazed at him, unable to help but grin and think how _beautiful_ he looked when he was angry.

8:48 p.m.

"My turn again," called out Jasper, spinning the wheel enthusiastically, getting a '3'. Counting the spaces aloud as he went along, he moved his white car to 'PAY DAY'. "Again, I say I like this game," he said happily.

There was a series of groans around the table as I handed him eighty thousand dollars.

"Do I win at the end or not?" asked Jasper, nudging his wife's shoulder. Alice shook her head.

"I'm trying not to see," she reminded him.

"Aw, come on…"

While Jasper continued to prod Alice, I noticed Rosalie deftly slip a hand and take one of Jasper's ten-thousand-dollar notes. She met my gaze and, to my surprise, grinned.

Alice heaved a sigh. "I'm only going to say that you're short in cash."

"What–?" Jasper turned to count the money I had given him. "Hey, Bella, you only gave me seventy thousand…"

Not willing to break the momentary truce I had with Rosalie, I handed him a paper note without a word. Just then Edward leaned towards me.

"Just so you know," he whispered into my ear, his breath sending tingling pulses of adrenaline down my spine, "that'll happen in every one of his turns."

"What'll happen?" asked Jasper, glancing up at Edward curiously.

Though I knew full well that Edward had been talking about Rosalie –her had eyes widened slightly at his words– he said, "You'll ask Alice if you'll win or not. I can hear your thoughts loud and clear, Jasper."

Jasper let out a low chuckle, as Edward then reached forward to twist the wheel. It spun briefly before stopping on '7'. I moved our car to a space that said 'Dean's list! LIFE'.

"Yey, LIFE tile," I sang, grabbing one of the tiny cardboard pieces.

"I'm proud of you, Bella," said Edward, taking my hand and squeezing it gently. "First you get a scholarship, and then you make the Dean's list. See the joys that come your way if you work hard?"

"Wait a minute, Bella" spoke up Jasper suddenly, as Rosalie proceeded to spin the wheel. "You spun a '1' before, right, to get a scholarship? I'm supposed to get ten thousand dollars for that, it says on my Career card!"

"Oh yeah… sorry, Jasper, I can't give it to you now; it has to be done during the turn I spun it. Rules say so. Wow, I _do_ know them too well…"

"I thought you were attentive, Jasper," said Edward teasingly. His brother scowled in reply. Edward turned his angelic face to me. "And I also find it interesting how firm you are with the rules of the game, and yet still be intent on breaking _mine_."

"What, you mean about becoming a vampire and getting more out of our physical relationship? That's not a game, so there's nothing to lose!" I fluttered my eyelashes at him innocently.

"I shall never understand your logic, my love," he sighed, massaging his temple. _Neither will I_, I thought to myself merrily.

"So what exactly did you take up, Bella?" asked Carlisle, leaning back against his chair and folding his arms. "You must have taken up something particularly interesting to make the Dean's list."

I bit my lip, but before I could say anything, I saw Rosalie hold out her hand towards me.

"Give me a LIFE tile, I adopted a pet," she said tonelessly. I frowned as I handed her a tile, and realized that she had moved her red car. "I was rather disappointed, too. The centre only had carps; they were out of angelfish…"

Jasper and Emmett gave her odd stares, but her words gave me an idea. "Uh… I took up marine biology!" I told Carlisle, who nodded appreciatively.

"That's awesome!" cried Alice. "If your first job lands you in the Mariana Trench, I'm coming with you! It's near the Philippines and I heard they have _amazing_ souvenirs there … ooh! Say we also travel to the Bermuda Triangle together and say hi to the folks there…"

"Isn't the Bermuda Triangle the place where ships and airplanes disappear mysteriously without a trace? Does anybody, no, _how_ can anybody even _live_ there?"

Carlisle let out a loud, hearty laugh. "Bella, what do you think causes the disappearance of those vessels?"

I shrugged. "Paranormal activity?"

This time everyone else joined in on Carlisle's laughter.

"Bella, remember that I told you breathing is not a necessity for vampires?" asked Edward, and I nodded as I recalled that moment clearly. He looked at me expectantly then, and, after a moment of blissfully melting under his gaze, it dawned upon me.

"_Vampires_ are making them disappear?" I gasped.

"The Wallows are a wonderful family," said Esme. I gaped at her. "They just believe that humans are an inferior race, so they enjoy… toying around with them. Oh, then I would suggest you let Alice go off alone there, dear…"

"Wow…" I breathed, as Carlisle leaned forward to twist the wheel.

8:59 p.m.

"'Your buddies crash your car. Pay five thousand dollars if not insured'," read Esme aloud, after she had moved their car. She lifted a perfect eyebrow at her husband. "You said you would never let anyone drive the Mercedes!" she exclaimed accusatively.

"You can buy car insurance if you want, so you won't have to pay for this or any other disaster," I suggested politely, trying to ease the conversation. Though Esme was naturally kind and considerate, she was one easily annoyed, I knew.

"I did say that, and I meant it!" said Carlisle, throwing up his hands in mock surrender.

Esme narrowed her eyes suspiciously, and then let out a gasp. "You let _Anita _drive your car, of _all_ people?"

"Suspect found and detained," murmured Edward, resting his fingers upon his pale lips, as if to stifle a grin. I frowned and glanced at Esme; she had never struck me as the territorial type when it came to Carlisle.

Esme obviously heard Edward, for she threw him a murderous glare before turning back to Carlisle. "You let that, that _woman_–!"

"It was an emergency, Esme. We needed a particular type of sedative drug, and the clinic was out of stock. I had to stay with the patient while Anita drove to–"

"A likely story!" scoffed Esme. The rest of the Cullens were audibly snickering now, which was definitely not helping Esme's mood. "An efficient clinic is never _out of stock_!"

"We _were_," said Carlisle coolly, although I could detect a slight hint of apprehension in his voice. "Come now, dear, I wasn't even in the car with her!" He glanced at the rest of us, almost pleadingly –most likely as a motion for someone to change the subject.

Emmett shook his head. "As jurors we are not to be swayed by sympathy," he said casually.

Esme pursed her lips. "Bella, would you be a dear and hand me a car insurance note… ten thousand dollars, was it?"

I nodded tentatively, sliding the paper piece across the table to her as she did the same with her ten-thousand-dollar note. "Okay… Alice, it's your turn, yeah?"

"She got lost, remember?" said Emmett smugly, proceeding to spin the wheel.

"WAIT!" screamed Alice suddenly, startling everyone. She waved her Career card in the air and bounced in her seat excitedly. "It says I get five thousand dollars when another player buys stock or insurance! Esme just bought insurance! Bella, gimme!"

Laughing, I handed her the money and she squealed in delight.

"Woman, stop screaming!" exclaimed Emmett, covering his ears dramatically. "With that high pitch, I'm expecting the windows to break any moment now! My ear drums sure have…"

"Jealous!" she retorted, grinning.

"You wish, small person." Emmett gave the wheel a sharp twist. 'Hell yeah, a '10'! I'm good, I'm good… who's jealous now, eh?"

"Rosalie has _definitely_ rubbed off on you," remarked Jasper amusedly. Emmett glanced at him, and he winced. "Touché, brother…"

Emmett grabbed his green car and began to move it along the track. Once he came to a particular red space, marked 'CAREER CHOICE', I motioned for him to halt.

"Okay, okay, stop right there. You _have_ to stop when you come to these red spaces. It says so there! Anyhow, choose three Career cards, here…" I fanned out the cards face-down before him.

"How come he gets to choose three?" demanded Rosalie.

"I said before, if you pick college you get to have more career choices."

Emmett pumped a fist in the air. "College rocks!" he declared, pulling out three cards from my hands. "Let's see… shall I be an entertainer? Doesn't seem _me_, somehow, being on stage in glittering tights…"

"That's a frightening image," muttered Edward under his breath.

"How about police officer? Well, I could get my own Hummer like they do on TV… that's an interesting choice…"

"I'm sure Charlie will be happy to have you on the force," I said brightly.

"Oh, I forgot that I'd be a police officer here in boring Forks… okay, _that's_ aside. How about doctor? Human dissection? I could do that… although people will be wondering how I'm ripping apart the patient with my bare hands and then eating–"

"If you're a doctor," I interrupted, trying to distract myself before disturbing pictures formed in my head, "you can get a high salary. It's a degree career, right? So yep, you do."

"And someone has to follow in my footsteps," spoke up Carlisle, "take over the family practice, should something terrible happen to me."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Okay, one, we don't have a family practice. I'd sooner disown myself than let you establish one and give it some weird name like 'Cullen and Sons Inc.' or 'Miracle Healers, _Literally'_. And two, the worst that could happen to you here in Forks, Carlisle, is be run over by Bella's truck."

"I'm not sure whether to take that as an insult or a compliment," I said irritably. "However, it is funny; I can see the headlines now: 'Small town doctor dies tragically. Son assumes control of family practice of lame name'."

Alice let out a giggle as she held out a fist in front of her face, like a microphone. Clearing her throat, she pulled her face into a serious expression. "This is Mary Alice reporting for Forks News. I am here live in front of_ Miracle Healers, Literally_, a small yet infamous clinic established by general practitioner Carlisle Cullen, who, sadly, passed away just yesterday. His death was reportedly _murder_; witnesses claim to have seen his wife, Esme Anne Platt Evenson Cullen, push him into the path of a speeding truck after allegedly accusing him of having an affair with a coworker. She refuses, however, to voice her comments on the situation."

The look on Alice's face set us all off into hysterical fits of laughter, even Esme.

"I can just imagine it," I choked after a while, wiping my eyes of the tears that had formed. "Although I don't think I was the one driving the truck!" I eyed Edward mischievously.

"Do you have any proof?" he asked with a wide grin.

"Oh yeah, I forgot!" Alice cleared her throat again. "As for the speeding truck, there seems to be more mystery to the case than one would imagine. Sources have claimed that the truck was driven by a male teenager, and in the passenger seat was a girl allegedly recognized as the missing daughter of Chief Charlie Swan. The case of Isabella Marie Swan was confirmed unsolved and closed a few weeks ago, until yesterday, the day of the murder. Could the two cases be linked somehow? We will discover the truth, after a short break."

"How _long_ was I gone?" I asked curiously.

"I kidnapped you about two months ago under Esme's orders to question you about Carlisle's records in the police databases," stated Edward casually.

Esme let out a gentle peal of laughter. "Oh, you children are so imaginative!"

"Leave it to them to make my death seem so humorous," said Carlisle between chuckles.

"We're won't be leaving the table anytime soon at this rate," chuckled Jasper, leaning forward to twist the game wheel; I had completely forgotten that we had been playing.

"Hang on, hang on," called out Emmett, his bulky shoulders still trembling with laughter, "I have to get my salary!" He picked up a Salary card without bothering to let me fan them out. "Ah, a doctor _is_ well-paid. I get ninety thousand dollars!" Grinning, he handed the other two Career cards back to me.

"You have to spin again," I told him. "After you come to red space you have to spin again."

"Roger that!" He spun the wheel and, when it stopped on '5', moved his car forward along the path, to a space that said 'Ski accident. Pay $5,000'. I pointed to the symbol of a cross underneath the words.

"See that? That's the Doctor symbol, and since you're the doctor, you don't have to pay. If the others land on it, though, and anything else with your symbol, they have to pay _you_. Each career has its own symbol."

"Awesome!" Emmett grinned. "Who knew being a doctor had its advantages?"

Edward let out a snort. "Apparently, it has its shames, too. Imagine a brilliant doctor falling head-first down a hill with his skis right behind him."

"I didn't hear a thing you said except for the word 'brilliant'. Didn't know you thought that of me, brother, I'm touched."

"Jasper, I believe it's your turn," hissed Edward.

9:20 p.m.

"Man, this is a crazy game," remarked Jasper, spinning the wheel. It stopped on '5'. Two spaces ahead of his car, however, was a red spot calling out 'GET MARRIED. LIFE'.

"Ah, this is the moment in my life where Alice and I meet in holy matrimony," he said cheerfully, pulling out Alice's pink peg from her car and placing it in his.

"How am _I_ going to drive now?" she asked incredulously.

"Oh, you will, don't worry," he assured her. "For the meantime we'll let… _Bella_ drive your car!"

The pink peg disappeared from the blue car and into Alice's yellow one. With a small growl Edward took it back in one swift motion.

"_Someone_ has to drive Alice's car!" exclaimed Jasper, and then both my peg and Edward's peg were sitting in the yellow car.

"Who drives _our_ car, then?" I demanded.

Jasper flicked Rosalie's peg out of her car and into ours. "There, now who drives Rosalie's car…"

"_I_ will, thank you very much," snapped Rosalie, but before she could retrieve her peg, Emmett's blue peg was seated in her car. She looked at him in annoyance.

"What? I wanted my peg in the action," he said simply.

"Enough bickering, all of you," ordered Carlisle, and then in a blink of an eye all of the pegs were seated in the proper cars. I gaped at my pink peg in awe. "Jasper, you have to spin again, if I'm not mistaken."

"Right, right…" Jasper spun the wheel and got a '2'. "Hey look, honey, it says 'Happy Honeymoon!' Bella, LIFE tile, please…"

I handed him a tile, and then I caught sight of the clock that hung above one of the doorways into the room. The time alarmed me, and I stood up. "I have to call my Dad and tell him I'll be here for a while…"

"I'll do it!" offered Alice, disappearing from her chair. "I'll tell him you're sleeping over!" her voice called out.

"How long can this game actually get?" asked Rosalie, peering at the game board.

"Long," I sighed.

**A/N**: And I'm guessing the story itself is going to be long! Heehee, I plan to write everything that happens to them, so you don't miss any of their arguments and secrets! So, what did you think of the chapter:D


	3. Birthdays and Love Letters

**A/N: **Again, THANK YOU ALL! I'm so happy now… hope you enjoy this chapter:D

Chapter Three- Birthdays and Love Letters

9:24 p.m.

"Okay, Bella," said Alice, swooping into her chair from nowhere in particular, "Charlie knows you're sleeping over. I explained everything to him, and he even offered to bring over your clothes and stuff, but I told him you can borrow some of mine."

"Thanks Alice." I shot her a grateful grin as I leaned forward to spin the game wheel. It stopped on '5', but only three spaces away from our car was 'CAREER CHOICE', so I picked up the piece and plopped it onto the red space. Then I turned to Edward to find him holding out the Career cards towards me in a perfect fan.

"Pick," he said simply, nodding towards the cards.

"You help me choose," I told him, as I drew out three cards and flipped them over. "Okay, so what do you want to be, an accountant, an entertainer, or a computer consultant?"

"Yeck," said Jasper in mild disgust. "Such lame jobs…"

Edward pursed his lips thoughtfully. "The image of Emmett as an entertainer in tights is still deeply embedded in my mind, so let me please rule that one out. What are the benefits of the other two?"

"Well, there's none for an accountant, but it's a degree career, so we could get a big salary. And for computer consultant, we get fifty thousand dollars every time 'the spinner stops between numbers of comes off the track'. Hey, the entertainer has an interesting benefit, but we so need luck for it: it says, 'if two 2s, 8s, 9s or 10s are spun in a row, replace your salary card with the yellow Salary card, trading salaries if necessary'. That's cool, because a yellow card has a _huge_ salary!"

"How much exactly?" asked Alice curiously.

"Ehm… I think a hundred thousand dollars…"

"Cha-_ching_!" gasped Emmett. "Damn, I knew I should've taken that job."

"You idiot, you already have the highest salary so far," pointed out Jasper.

"True, true… _Miracle Healers_ is doing really well, against my expectations…"

"Well, it's settled, then," said Edward, plucking two cards from my hands, "we'll be entertainers."

"And do what exactly?" I demanded, as he fanned out the Salary cards before me. "I have no talent whatsoever! You, of course, can dazzle people just by _blinking_ at them! What do I do? I just stand there and wave…"

Edward let out a long peal of laughter, the sound absolutely glorious in my ears. "You have talents, love," he murmured, brushing my cheek with a finger.

My skin grew warm under his touch, and I inhaled a deep breath. "Oh, yeah?" I challenged him. "Name five!"

"Easily done. You possess the unnatural ability to blush on cue–"

"That's not a talent!" I exclaimed, feeling the heat in my face rise. I mentally cursed the abnormal sensitivity of my emotions and their annoying enthusiasm to show themselves more often than necessary. And the fact that my 'ability' to blush would disappear along with my humanity when I was finally turned provided little comfort.

The smile on Edward's exquisite face broadened. "I consider it as such. Second: you inspire me to create the best of my music compositions."

"You're not naming my talents, you're naming my doings!" I said, trying to avoid swooning as an aftereffect of Edward's words; his intense gaze was already threatening to take control. "I said _talents_, like dancing, drawing, singing, none of which I can do!"

"So why name them? I'm stating what I find to be your most outstanding achievements, or talents, if you prefer to call them. So –let me finish now– three: you possess the appeal only danger finds attractive; four, you take inhuman pleasure in feeling negative emotions; and five, you are beyond beautiful." Edward grinned widely.

I shook my head to dispel any impulses of throwing myself onto Edward right then and there. "So how's that gonna work exactly? We stand on stage looking pretty, you say something to make me blush, then I say something to make you play the piano, after which I break down and cry because it's too touching? Oh, and then somehow the microphone I'm holding just whacks me on the face?"

"What a wonderful performance," murmured Jasper sarcastically.

Edward lifted a single eyebrow in curious amusement, but nodded. "That is actually possible. Now, if you please, choose our salary."

I realized he was still holding out the Salary cards, and I drew one with a sheepish grin. "Okay, we get… darn, forty thousand dollars."

A snicker erupted from Emmett, and I threw him a withering look, as Edward gave the game wheel a twist.

"One, two, three, four…" he counted softly, moving our blue car along the track. "And we receive yet another LIFE tile. We're attending a birthday party."

"Now whose birthday party is it?" I asked, grabbing a tile.

"Mike Newton's!" exclaimed Alice suddenly, jabbing a finger in the air.

Edward and I let out a disgusted grunt and an exasperated moan respectively. Alice broke out in a satisfied grin.

"Is he that charming son of the owners of _Newton's Outfitters_?" inquired Esme, prodding her chin delicately.

"The one and the same, only 'charming' is too weak a word to describe him," said Edward darkly, and Esme frowned curiously.

"Are you two not on friendly terms with him?"

I blurted out a sarcastic snicker. "Oh no, we're on friendly terms alright. A little _too_ friendly, on his part. Like Edward said, 'charming' wouldn't be quite the right word to describe how he is…"

"He's got a die-hard crush on Bella!" cried Emmett triumphantly. I mentally wrung my hands around his thick neck.

"Why don't you like him, Bella?" asked Rosalie casually, and I automatically turned to Edward, silently pleading him, _expecting_ him, to change the subject. To my surprise and utter annoyance, he smiled, obviously wishing to hear my answer.

"I just don't," I said finally, glaring at Edward. "I don't know, maybe because he's not…"

"Me," finished Edward smugly.

"_Dead_," I corrected smilingly. As I expected, Edward's face pulled into an angry scowl.

"'Dead'?" he repeated in a dangerously low tone. I remained smiling, standing my ground, and his teeth clenched together. "Again, I question your desire to be 'dead', as you so inappropriately call it."

"And again, I answer your question saying I don't care about your question!"

"Are you telling me that you would rather love a dead being than a living one? Your reason for not liking Mike Newton seems to be based on that decision."

"You _want_ me to like Mike?" I gasped. "Because he's _alive_, I mean?"

"I'm only implying that he would be the _safer_ choice," said Edward grimly, folding his arms upon the table.

"Oh, we are _not_ having this conversation again!"

"In which I am officially lost in," sighed Emmett.

"Really," said Alice agreeably, shaking her head, "you two fight like _bulls_."

"That's because they're both stubborn," remarked Rosalie amusedly.

"I'm not!" exclaimed Edward and I in unison. We exchanged steely glares.

"What if I give Mike a kiss for his birthday?" I suggested irritably. "How would you feel then, Mister Too-unselfish-for-his-own-good?"

"Is it so wrong to be unselfish?" he whispered. "And to answer your question, I would feel jealous, as I know you hope I would. But I would accept it nonetheless, for he is human and so are you."

"For the _time being_!" I pointed out haughtily. Despite the serious vibes radiating from Edward, I was enjoying myself immensely.

"Okay, stop it, both of you, before teeth fly and tears fall." Alice waved her hands in the air. I was having too much fun to listen to her, however.

"What if I _French_ kiss him?" I exclaimed.

"How did the term come about anyway?" murmured Jasper thoughtfully.

Edward's jaw hardened. "I would accept it," he hissed.

"But you'd be jealous."

"Yes."

"I FIGURED IT OUT!" cried Emmett suddenly, pumping both fists in the air. "Edward is in LOVE with Mike!"

"I am _not_," retorted Edward. I giggled, which just seemed to make Edward angrier. "I refuse to even _entertain_ the thought. I am not _in love_ with him."

"Yes you are," said Rosalie calmly, one hand floating forward and twisting the game wheel. "And the feeling is definitely mutual. Why else would he copy your hairstyle? Ah, a '10'… oh, that's past the GET MARRIED space…" She fluidly picked up a LIFE tile and a blue peg, which she placed in her red car, and then spun the wheel again.

"And why else would you be jealous of he and Bella kissing?" mused Alice, grinning mischievously. "He wants to be the one kissing Mike!"

"Mike Newton copied your hairstyle?" Carlisle leaned towards Edward with eyebrows raised in interest.

"We are not attending his birthday party anymore," said Edward icily, grabbing my hand.

Emmett stood up and jabbed a finger at his brother. "So you _do_ love him! You're trying to avoid him! Oh, all of this is so overwhelming… dear Eddy is gay…"

"Don't call me that!" barked Edward, his grip on me tightening painfully. He must've noticed me wince, for he released my hand then.

"No wonder you're so sensitive," said Jasper laughingly. "You have more progesterone than testosterone, apparently. Sexy."

"Bella, did you know Edward had gay stalkers?" screamed Alice. Her words shocked me to the point where I literally jumped in my seat.

"NO WAY!" I yelled incredulously. It wasn't hard to imagine, actually; I supposed it was only logical that Edward's god-like appearance should attract not only women, but men as well. I burst into a fit of giggles. "When, _when_? No, WHO?"

"Bella, I no longer wish to continue this conversation," stated Edward, his entire body trembling with evident fury.

"I love you, Edward," I told him sweetly, "and I'll still love you even if you turn out to be really gay." I instantly regretted my words, though, for then a disturbing image of Edward making out with Mike crashed into my head and nauseated me.

"Alice, here," said Rosalie suddenly, handing over a ten-thousand-dollar note to her sister. "I have to upgrade my computer –the mundane thing– and it's the salesperson's icon thing on it."

"Ooh, yey!" Alice grabbed the note eagerly, and then turned to me again. "Well, the last time –and the most unforgettable, might I add– was about a decade ago, I think. We were in Scandinavia; Falster, Denmark, to be precise. Anyway, I was with Edward and Emmett in one of the few pubs there. Then one really old, _old_ guy came up and started hitting on Edward–"

"I do not see how mere chatting means 'hitting on', _Alice_." Edward spoke his sister's name as if it were a dirty word.

Emmett let out a loud snort as he sat back down. "You call 'hey, let's share a drink' _chatting_?" Edward's lips curled upwards to reveal bared teeth. "Oh, lighten up. I was depressed after that, for your information. I was hurt he took a liking to you… he barely _glanced_ at me!" Emmett slapped a hand to his chest dramatically.

"One, it was an _obsession_, not a liking," hissed Edward, "and two, you could've said something if you wanted him for yourself!"

"Oh no, he was flirting with _you_," said Alice, nodding her head firmly. "He would've rejected Emmett, hands down. Anyway, after that night, the guy began stalking Edward, and he was _so_ obvious…"

"Eww! I'm not against gay people or anything, but an _old_ man?" I squealed excitedly, ignoring Edward's piercing glare.

"YES! He actually found out where we were _living_, for crying out loud. That's quite a feat for a human, you know."

"Can't get in the way of true love," crooned Emmett.

"I still have some of the love letters he sent," spoke up Esme brightly.

"WHAT?" cried Edward, Alice, Emmett and I at the same time.

"Indeed, I do! Wait a moment…" With that, Esme was gone in a flash. Before I could register the fact that she had said 'love letters', she was back in her seat, holding a small wooden box.

"Mother, I told you to BURN them," said Edward, his eyes wide with rage.

"Oh, did you? I'm sorry, dear; it must've slipped my mind." As Esme opened the box with a smile on her face, it seemed to me that she wasn't feeling sorry at all. "Hmm, here they are… they're a little faded, though…"

In a flash, there were letters in four pairs of hands: Alice exclaimed a shriek of jubilance as she scanned the contents of her crumpled letter; Jasper pinched his lips together to stifle a grin as he silently read his; Emmett blurted out a laugh of triumph after he read seemingly every sentence; and Rosalie skimmed through hers with wide and elated eyes.

"Listen to this!" cried Alice ecstatically, "It's in Danish, but I'll translate it. It says, 'Brown-haired boy, come to me. I can satisfy you better than fine wine; I have a touch softer than a little girl's.' HA, this is disgustingly PRICELESS!"

"EWWW!" I shouted laughingly. On seeing the repulsed look on Edward's face, tears spurted from my eyes with my laughter.

"Carlisle, please spin the wheel," he said through clenched teeth. He glared at his father, who was also engaged in a hysterical fit of chuckles.

"Alright, alright." Carlisle shook his head and gave the game wheel a hard twist.

9:45 p.m.

"I sincerely apologize, Edward," said Esme softly with a small, regretful smile. "I shall burn the letters first thing in the morning."

"With this guy 'pining tenderly' for him?" said Emmett scornfully. "No way, I'm taking those!"

I saw Esme vanish before the box did. In a matter of split seconds, she was standing at the far end of the room with the box wedged firmly under her arm, the letters gone from the others' hands. "Enough teasing," she ordered, and then she disappeared. There were a number of groans with her exit.

"Darling," called out Carlisle suddenly, taking three of the remaining Career cards and turning them over, "would you like to be a police officer, a teacher, or an accountant?"

I was puzzled at this question, and then I noticed that their orange car had landed on the CAREER CHOICE space.

"Whatever you wish, Carlisle," said Esme, reappearing in her seat without the box.

"Well, a teacher would be fun, as we can choose another career as a summer job once everyone has a career, which is already the case. We don't get a salary for it, though, but we do get the special benefits."

"Teacher it is, then," said Esme cheerfully and plucked two cards from Carlisle's hands. "What say you to being a police officer as a summer job?"

Carlisle grinned. "Well, we do get ten thousand dollars every time someone spins a '10'. Why not?" He picked up the last of the Salary cards and fanned them out before Esme, who drew one card. He leaned sideways to inspect it. "Ooh, sixty thousand dollars!"

"Spin again," I reminded them, chancing a glance at Edward, who still sat livid. I entwined my fingers with his, and he threw me a grateful smile.

The wheel stopped on '9', and Carlisle moved the car forward along the path. I took this time to examine the status of the rest of the cars; so far, Rosalie was in the lead.

"It's Pay Day, baby!" sang Carlisle in an exaggeratedly deep voice. I laughed and handed him his salary.

"_Finally_, my turn!" Alice hastily twisted the wheel. "I don't plan in getting lost and missing a turn again! '9', yes!"

"I really wonder how you got lost here in _Forks_," commented Emmett, rolling his eyes.

"_I _got lost, and many times, too!" I confessed.

"No, _you're_ understandable. But Alice has, like the rest of us, a keen sense of direction. That's why her getting lost in this tiny place is practically impossible."

"Shh!" hissed Alice, moving her yellow car forward. "And… I stop here, right Bella? I GET MARRIED!"

"Seems like everyone is getting married," spoke up Rosalie, and Alice shot her a triumphant grin.

"You're just jealous because one of us might pass you!" she cried, grabbing a blue peg and jabbing it into her car. I handed her a LIFE tile as she spun the wheel. "Okay, a '5', that lands me on… what? 'Attend hi-tech seminar. Pay ten thousand dollars'. Why would I attend a _hi-tech seminar_?"

"Obviously you were bored," said Edward amusedly.

"I'm never _that_ bored! Aargh, so whose job is this?" Alice pointed at the computer icon at the bottom of the space. "What did you say awhile ago, computer contestant?"

"Consultant," I corrected, holding out my hand towards her, "which is no one, so money to the banker, please."

Alice scowled. "I don't have enough!" she grumbled.

"Then here." I handed her a bank loan note and twenty five thousand dollars. "Pay me back whenever you want, with interest. Oh, I'm keeping this…" I retrieved one of the ten-thousand-dollar notes. "Pleasure doing business with you!"

9:51 p.m.

"You know, Edward," began Emmett, his brow furrowed in a frown, "I'm a little worried about when you actually marry Bella. The way she's handling the money is scaring me."

"At least I know we won't be experiencing bankruptcy anytime soon," said Edward calmly. His eyes flickered over to Alice, who gasped.

"Hey, I keep track of how much I spend!" she snapped. "Unlike _some_ people I know…" She cast a pensive glance at her sister.

"_Excuse_ me for being born into high society," said Rosalie irritably, clasping her hands together with an air of haughtiness.

"How is that relevant to your spendthrift ways?" demanded Alice.

"Who're you calling _spendthrift_?" spat Rosalie, leaning forward menacingly. "And to answer your dimwitted question, I was born into high society; therefore, I have no reason to be concerned about where my money can or cannot go!"

"We're living in the _twenty-first_ century!" shrieked Alice. "There isn't enough money in the world anymore!"

"I cannot _believe_ you're throwing that in my face when you can hardly control your impulses to buy every single thing you see!"

"I buy every single thing I _like_. There's a difference!"

"And a highly insignificant difference it is!"

"Okay, okay, enough!" called out Jasper, flapping his hands in their direction in an attempt to silence them.

"Don't you shush me!" Alice slapped his hand away. "You're my husband, so defend me like you should, and do it now!"

"Emmett!" barked Rosalie, glaring daggers at her spouse. "If you love me, you'd do good to prove it!"

"But it's my turn now!" wailed Emmett, thus earning a hard pinch from Rosalie. "OW, _woman_! Okay, fine, wait, wait…" He gave the game wheel a twist, and it stopped on '3'. At once his car disappeared, reappearing again three spaces ahead of where it had been. "That's it, nothing special? I just 'cycle to work'? Big whoop." He grabbed a LIFE tile and then turned to Jasper. "Okay, brother, let's get this over with."

I watched in more amusement than fear as the brothers stood up and faced each other, wearing identical serious, hard looks on their faces.

"You ready, Emmett?" said Jasper huskily.

"I am if you are," replied Emmett confidently.

"I love you, Jazz!" declared Alice, throwing a smirk in Rosalie's direction.

"Bring him down, Emmett," murmured Rosalie, shooting a similar leer at her sister.

The two brothers gazed intently at one another. After a few seconds of stone-cold silence, my amusement began to slide, and I glanced at Edward. "What are they going to do?" I asked anxiously.

"You'll see," he answered calmly.

Jasper took a step closer to Emmett. "One…" he murmured.

Emmett moved forward slowly. "Two," he whispered.

I wrung my fingers together in uneasy anticipation…

"THREE!" they yelled at the same time, and I uttered a scream as I saw two fists dart in between them in a motion so fast it was almost a blur. I shut my eyes tightly.

"HA, I win!" cried Jasper victoriously. Severely confused at the sudden outburst and the lack of violent sounds, I inched an eye open: both brothers stood as they had been, but Emmett's hand was outstretched and pointing towards Jasper, whose hand was closed into a fist save for two fingers.

"Damn!" cried Emmett. "I knew I should've done 'rock'!"

"Then why didn't you?" cried Rosalie incredulously.

"My hero!" exclaimed Alice happily, jumping up and embracing Jasper. "I _knew_ you'd win! 'Scissor' rules!"

"You idiots!" I snapped in annoyance.

**A/N**: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I sure did! Hahaha! Anyhoo, thanks again to EVERYONE! Please review, I need suggestions for secrets, since I'm running out of them for the Cullens to spill:D I'll try and blend them into the story!

And I bid thee goodbye with TONS of roses and candy!! Oh, please vote too, on who gets to win the game! I need to know early in the story so I can work on it… 'til the next chapter, adios amigos!


	4. Pregnancies and Farmhouses

**A/N: **Hello all you happy people! Well, probably not-so-happy, since this chapter came out SO late… it's not my fault! We just moved to a new house which had like NO internet! Sigh, oh well, I apologize on behalf of the landlord! So here's the next sequence of events of the game so far… again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! Now, onwards mateys!

Chapter Four- Pregnancies and Farmhouses

9: 55 p.m.

"They always play that, although I don't quite see the reason _why_, what with Alice seeing the future and everything. You really thought they were going to physically fight, didn't you?" Edward grinned widely at me, and I scowled.

"_Excuse_ me for getting all worked up for nothing," I muttered. "Come on Jasper, it's your turn."

"You should've seen your face, Bella," Jasper said laughingly, sitting himself back in his chair and giving the game wheel a twist.

"One for the book," agreed Alice, and then turned to Edward. "I only see who wins if the person decides _beforehand_ what sign to make. Otherwise, when it's a spur-of-moment decision, I can't see anything."

Edward rolled his eyes. "That should only give the players about half a second's advantage."

"Book of what," I demanded of Alice, "my most embarrassing facial expressions?"

"Yep," she answered proudly.

I sighed. "I swear, mark my words, once I become a vampire, I'm getting back at all of you. I'm going to start on my own book: 'How to Demean the Cullens'."

"Ah darn, that's going to be a bestseller here in Forks," remarked Emmett with a frown. "Do you know how many people _want_ to see us thrown to the dogs?"

"Yeah, let's go '6'!" exclaimed Jasper, grabbing his car and moving it along the path.

"What are you talking about?" I asked Emmett incredulously. "Everyone in school wants to _be_ you guys!"

"Once they read your book, they _will_ be us. Ergo, dispose of the originals." Emmett nodded his head in self-satisfaction.

Jasper let out a long groan. "My taxes are due! So… how much do I pay exactly?"

"Check your career card," I told him.

"Ah…" He swiftly grabbed his Career card and peered at it. "Darn. Here Bella, thirty-five thousand dollars…"

"Ouch," said Emmett in amusement, as Jasper handed the money to me.

"Just be happy no one's the accountant, otherwise the money would go to him or her," I pointed out.

"It went to _you_," mumbled Jasper, leaning backwards against his chair.

"To the _bank_," I corrected. "I'm just the banker. See, Emmett, how in the world can I have control of my marriage with Edward when I don't even _have_ much money as the banker? No, wait, I'm more like the messenger; I'm the postbox between society and the bank!"

"A very pretty postbox," murmured Edward in a seductively husky tone. I tried to glare at him, but was instead overcome by yet another blush.

"Trust Edward to turn something like a postbox into an object of beauty," remarked Alice with a toss of her head.

"Turn the wheel please," I told Edward through clenched teeth.

9:57 p.m.

Edward smiled and dexterously sent the game wheel into a perfect spin. It stopped on '3', and I picked up our blue car to move it along the path.

"And now we're visiting a museum," Edward said thoughtfully, selecting a LIFE tile. "Bella, I hope this trip makes you happy. Seeing objects as old as you are preserved in a glass case isn't very uplifting."

I bit my lip to prevent myself from laughing. "Hey, there's some fun in that. You could be like, to an ancient vase or something, 'I knew you when you were just a brand new and useless piece of clay'."

"Believe me, I've been through that," Alice said gloomily.

"Seriously? I was kidding!"

"When we were in England," began Edward, "the girls and I visited this very small, unknown museum–"

"More like an over-furnished room," sneered Rosalie.

"–yes, that _would_ be more fitting. Anyway, they were displaying a collection of cloths from different centuries, and I happened to see a particular piece… which belonged to Alice."

I frowned. "Belonged as in…?"

"They stole my personalized handkerchief!" wailed Alice. "I lost it a few weeks after it was made, and then years later there it was, nicely displayed for all to see, as a belonging of King Henry the Eighth! _King Henry_! My handkerchief had my first name's initial on it!"

"Maybe they thought it belonged to one of King Henry's mistresses," I suggested with a giggle.

"Ergo, it belonged to King Henry," finished Emmett with a quick nod.

"You like to say 'ergo' a lot, don't you?" I inclined my head and grinned at him.

"Well, in any case, I took it back," said Alice triumphantly. I snapped my focus back to her with my mouth open in shock, and she shrugged. "What? It was _mine_!"

"You _stole_ it?"

"That was fifteen years ago. And we're _still_ wanted in that part of England," said Edward cheerfully.

I stared at Alice in disbelief, and then squinted at Edward. "You lead a very interesting life," I said in mock seriousness.

Alice folded her arms together and smiled. "Yeah, and then I lost it again. Who knows, it'll probably turn up in a museum in Egypt, as a cloth used by a servant of Queen Nefertiti."

Rosalie reached out a hand and twisted the game wheel. "You know, Bella, that handkerchief wasn't the only thing she stole in her lifetime."

Alice groaned. "Don't tell you're still on the whole Clifford thing?"

The wheel stopped on '6', and Rosalie moved her car along. "Fifty thousand dollars, if you please Bella. I won the lottery." As I handed her the money, she shot her sister a cold glare. "Did you think I'd ever forgive you for that?" she hissed.

"For what, for what?" demanded Emmett. "I'm more intrigued by this conversation than the whole lottery thing!"

At once Rosalie shut her mouth, eyeing her husband warily. Alice noticed this and broke into a smug grin.

"For stealing her first boyfriend," she sang, "the one who almost got her pregnant!"

"ALICE!" shrieked Rosalie, jumping to her feet.

"WHAT?" cried each of the rest of the Cullens.

"Someone other than me tried to get you to home run?" gasped Emmett incredulously. To my surprise, there was a hint of amusement in his voice, and not of anger, as I expected.

"I was young!" exclaimed Rosalie defensively. She clutched Emmett's hand. "Darling, this was _before_ I was turned into a vampire!"

"How old _were_ you?" asked Edward.

"Fourteen, fourteen!" trilled Alice.

"My pride was just wounded," moaned Emmett. "This guy took your virginity at _fourteen_? My first was at _fifteen_!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and retrieved her hand. "_I_ was the one fourteen. _He_ was eighteen."

"Oh… then that's okay… I think…"

"You could've had an illegitimate child, Emmett!" cried Alice.

"How come you never mentioned this, Rosalie?" said Esme, her face riddled with both concern and hurt, as she leaned forward and delicately spun the game wheel.

Rosalie threw Alice a murderous look. "It wasn't meant to be a big deal!"

"Oh yes, I heard pregnancy_ is_ negligible," quipped Jasper.

"How did you find out that you _weren't_ pregnant?" asked Edward curiously.

Rosalie inhaled a deep breath. "My period came late," she said tonelessly.

"Blech, periods…" muttered Emmett in disgust. "I pity you women. At least all we men have to go through is circumcision. One moment of pain and that's it. _You_ have to go through periods, pregnancy _and_ menopause! Don't you _burst_ from all that?"

Something that hadn't occurred to me before came creeping into my mind at Emmett's words. "Do you even _get_ your periods?" I asked Rosalie. "I mean, as a vampire?"

"Of course," she said haughtily, "it's only natural. The systems in our bodies don't change when we are turned. One thing, though, is we secrete venom as well as dirty blood."

My eyes widened in fascination. There were so many interesting aspects to being a vampire…

"Did your family know?" asked Esme suddenly. "About the incident?"

Rosalie uttered a 'humph' of indignation. "I can't believe I'm the object of interrogation when Alice here committed the crime of stealing him from me!" At once she whisked around to face Emmett again. "Not that I still harbor feelings for him, he's nothing but an insignificant lowlife to me now! _You_ are all I need."

Before Emmett could reply, there was a grunt from Alice.

"I didn't _steal_ him," she retorted. "He practically _ran_ to me!"

I held up a hand. "Hang on a tick here. I don't get it. If this was before you were turned into a vampire, Rosalie, then how come you knew Alice back then?"

"We didn't know each other per se," said Alice.

"That would actually be the first time we met," muttered Rosalie, seating herself back down. "And then when I met her again after she was turned, I didn't know it was her until a few years later when she spoke of stealing a high class boyfriend."

Alice let out a high-pitched laugh. "Oh, that was _so_ unexpected I swear… and FYI, I didn't really want him as a boyfriend. Come on, I was only like what, twelve? I just wanted a nice rich playmate."

"Bella…" called out Carlisle, and I looked up, noticing that their car had landed on the red space 'STOP. You may BUY A HOUSE. Draw Deed'.

"Ah, here's a fun part," I said, picking up a pile of cards I had kept aside. I fanned the cards out before Carlisle, face down. "To choose your house, pick two cards, and then decide between the two."

Carlisle nodded in understanding, and drew out two cards from either end of the fan.

"When did the government get so strict? We only get to look at _two_ houses for our future use!" remarked Emmett with a dramatic flourish.

"To teach us not to be picky with material items?" suggested Jasper with a shrug.

"Alright," said Carlisle, tilting his head towards Esme, "so what do you want dear, a Dutch Colonial or a farmhouse?"

Esme raised a fine eyebrow and peered at the two cards. "Dutch Colonial, a 'wooden shoe realty: eight spacious rooms with study, den. Solar-heated, wood-burning stoves, solid oak floors'," she read aloud. "_A hundred and twenty thousand dollars_?"

Emmett let out a low whistle. "Think of it this way, Esme. For eight rooms, a hundred and twenty thousand dollars is a pretty good bargain. Plus, you can accommodate the rest of us _and_ other guests! It's a whole inn! Ooh, we can call it–!"

"Let me see the other choice first," said Esme with a small grin, "before you start suggesting ridiculous names again. So farmhouse… a hundred and _sixty_ thousand dollars? Dear me, why spend so much on a _farmhouse_? Although, farmhouses _are_ ideal for a life of seclusion and solitude…"

"What's it have?" asked Alice eagerly.

"Well, it says… 'Euell B. Milken realty' –whoever that is– 'located on fifty rolling acres. Garbanzo bean crops, prizewinning pigs and dairy cows'."

"Well, there you go, that's how you get your money back," I said brightly, "put up those pigs and cows in contests and let them do their thing."

Carlisle grinned. "Well, darling, at least we won't have to go out to hunt so often. We'll have food right in our backyard!"

I propped up an elbow on the table and rested my chin upon my hand. "If I didn't know better, that statement would've sounded just about right…"

Esme's face fell into a pretty frown. "Hmm, it would be nice to change our meals for once… I'm quite tired of eating bear all the time."

"Don't you ever get bothered by all the fur?" I asked curiously.

Esme laughed. "Not if you know how to smoothen it out properly," she said with a wink. "Carlisle, let's go with the Dutch Colonial."

As Carlisle handed me the farmhouse card and a hundred and twenty thousand dollars, I felt I couldn't resist myself; and the question I had been anxious to ask for quite some time came spewing out: "What's your favorite kind of bear?"

Esme looked shocked for a moment, and then she recovered with a small chuckle. "Oh… I have no favorite, dear."

"That's not what you said when you tried Chinese pandas," said Alice in a reproving tone.

It was my turn to be caught by surprise. "_Chinese pandas_? Those cute, little black-and-white bears? You _ate_ them?"

Perhaps my expression held more dismay than I thought, for Esme then cringed.

"I'm sorry, Bella! If it's any consolation to you, I didn't eat _that_ many. We only stayed in Beijing for a week or so."

"Because the pandas were on the brink of extinction due to lack of food," remarked Jasper seriously.

"Yeah, _ours_," laughed Emmett.

Edward leaned sideways. "Do you _still_ want to become a vampire?" he asked me quietly.

I pinched his arm, which most probably caused him no pain. "Of course I do!" I said heatedly. "I'm just… _overwhelmed_ by my possible menu…"

"Ooh, then look out for black panthers," said Alice, motioning for Carlisle to spin the wheel again. When he did, it stopped on '8'.

"Look, Carlisle!" exclaimed Esme suddenly, pointing at a particular space –eight spaces away from where their car was now, I noticed after counting mentally– that said 'Twins! LIFE'. "We have twins!"

Carlisle sniffed exaggeratedly. "I'm so happy. I'm a father again! What say you to one of each, darling?"

Grinning, I handed them a LIFE tile and two people pegs, one blue and one pink. "And here, new father, are your babies! What are you going to name them?"

"I call godfather!" yelled Emmett, one hand shooting into the air.

"You're the _uncle_, idiot," said Jasper.

"How about Alison and Alex?" suggested Alice with a furtive smile. "Aunt Alice will teach them everything they need to know about everything!"

"See, now I think that Dutch Colonial was worth it," declared Esme with a laugh. "We have more than enough space to accommodate the twins!"

I joined in with Esme's laughter, although not so heartily –I knew that Esme had lost a child before, and I couldn't help but feel a rush of pity for her. But then again, who was I to say she was still grieving? Time might have healed her.

10:04 p.m.

"Okay, Auntie Alice's turn!" cried Alice, giving the wheel a twist so hard that I heard its pivot ring. It stopped on '1', on which Jasper thrust out a hand towards Alice.

"You spun a '1', which means you bought my art!" he said gleefully. "Pay up, ten thousand dollars!"

"Why do I have to buy your art?" whined Alice, reluctantly plucking a ten-thousand-dollar note from her disorganized pile of money and giving it to her husband. "I live with you _and_ your paintings… hey!" She twisted her body to face the game board directly and, with two fingers, retrieved two ten-thousand-dollar notes from underneath it. "I didn't have to take that loan after all! I had money here! Aargh… Bella! Can I pay off the loan now? "

"You have to pay it off with interest," I told her rather apologetically, "five thousand dollars with every twenty-five thousand."

Alice frowned and bent her head to count her money. "Let's see, now I have thirty thousand dollars… so should I risk giving up twenty-five, or should I wait until I have more money?" She looked down at the game board. "AARGH! And now I have to pay twenty thousand to go to _night school_? I don't want to play anymore!"

"Alice, Alice! It's a _blue_ space. That means it's optional," I explained. "You don't have to go to night school."

"Well, there goes our job as a teacher," remarked Carlisle amusedly.

"What do you even learn at night school?" I asked, turning to Edward.

"Well, I suppose anything and everything, whatever you need to know."

"Or whatever your real school can't teach you," declared Alice.

"Or _won't_ teach you," murmured Rosalie.

Emmett shook his head sadly. "They should really have a class that teaches different positions for s–"

"Emmett," said Carlisle in a warning tone. Emmett lowered his head sheepishly.

An idea came to mind, and I straightened. "Do you think there's a night school for vampires?" I asked brightly.

"For… _vampires_?" Edward repeated slowly.

"Yeah, you know, to teach newborns how to be a perfect vampire, like with proper vampire etiquette or… or vampire anatomy! 'How a vampire body works' or something like that… or maybe night school just to pass the time! You don't sleep right?"

"We have a night school right here," said Emmett, flicking the game wheel into a spin. "Forks: the ultimate educational experience for the young vampire! The nights are long and always quiet, except when it rains. Want to teach your child some table manners? There are more than enough bears to go around!"

"That's like a _really_ twisted ad," I remarked with a grin.

"Yeah well… hey! I _finally_ get married! Again!" He promptly placed his car on the red space, and grabbed a LIFE tile and a pink peg. "I would like to take this opportunity to point at each and every one of you and laugh maniacally because today I have wedded _the_ most beautiful woman the immortal world has ever seen, so ha ha to you…" He grinned and planted a deep kiss on Rosalie's lips, then spun the wheel again.

"I beg to differ," said Edward, lifting an eyebrow. "_My_ Bella is the most beautiful woman." He winked at me very slowly, thus sending my stomach into a whirlpool of butterflies.

"OW!" yelped Jasper suddenly, rubbing his thigh –by the sound of it– and glaring at Alice, whose face wore a rather suggestive frown. "You _know_ I believe you're the most beautiful woman in the entire world! You just heard me think it!"

"But I wanted you to say it," said Alice simply.

"Ah, fudge..." groaned Emmett, handing me a ten-thousand-dollar note. "Here Bella, I had a car accident."

"Probably too anxious to get to your honeymoon," commented Carlisle smilingly.

"_Fudge_?" repeated Jasper curiously.

Emmett shrugged. "What? I'm trying to cut back on cursing. I was told off by some dude at school… probably a monastery hopeful… anyway I felt guilty enough."

"And you think blaspheming food will help you…"

"How about shoe?" I suggested. "If you're on food, might as well try other material items too. Like, 'oh shoe'!"

Emmett regarded me thoughtfully. "Hmm, that might work, but it sounds like 'shoot' without the 't'… and that might drive me nuts… it's like you shout out 'OH SHOE…!' I don't know; you just _have_ to finish the sentence! I'm sorry, but 'oh shoot' just sounds more fulfilling in life. "

"Fulfilling?" I echoed in amusement.

"Yuh-huh."

"Because of the 't'."

"Yep."

"… Whatever floats your boat, big guy."

10:08 p.m.

"You two would make an interesting debate team." With a shake of his head, Jasper sent the game wheel into a short spin, after which it stopped on '2'. "'Visit in-laws'," he read aloud. He gave Alice a wistful glance. "Wait, who's visiting whose in-laws?"

As I threw Jasper a LIFE tile, Alice answered: "Well, seeing as I don't remember _my_ parents, I think we should visit yours!"

Jasper frowned. "But now we have the same in-laws, so… well, here we are!"

I cocked my head to one side. "You really don't remember anything at all, Alice?" I asked sympathetically.

"Nope. Although, I _do_ fantasize. I believe my parents were geniuses, scientists who aspired to make evolution yesterday's news!"

I grinned. "For all you know, your dad could've been Frankenstein."

"Isn't he that dude with the bad skin disease and corks in his neck?" asked Emmett, confused.

"That was Frankenstein's _monster_," corrected Edward in a disapproving tone. "And they were metal bolts, not corks."

"Ah, same screwed-up thing…"

"Don't in-laws include brothers and sisters?" spoke up Esme amusedly.

"Great," said Jasper sarcastically, "I'm related to a corpse powered by lightning. Hey, Frank Junior, let's go play basketball. Oh, sorry, it's not raining."

"I wouldn't bring him to Forks then," murmured Alice.

**A/N: **Hmm, I myself don't find this chapter too funny –not as much as the previous one, but I do like the whole cursing conversation… it's actually a recap of a similar conversation I had with my sister, but we were talking about someone's name… I won't say it lest it offends someone… heehee!

Another by the by, did you notice the whole Alice and the loan thing? Yeah, apparently, when I read through my notes, I realized that I made a mistake in calculating the amount of money Alice had… so I tried to correct my mistake as subtly as possible by making her find two of her ten-thousand-dollar notes hidden underneath the board… I wonder if you got that… oh well again! Heehee!

Pretty long author's note… sorry! So anyhoo anyhoo, SPECIAL THANKS to… for the suggestions of the secrets! So anyone else have anything, PLEASE tell me! I'd get on my knees and serenade you in your dreams! You'll have to excuse my off-key singing, though… anyhoo, see you next chapter! Ooh, don't forget to vote on the poll too, if you haven't yet!


	5. Cults and One Too Many Secrets

**A/N:** So, alrighty then, here's the next chapter! And again, I just realized that this is going to be one LONG story… I hope my sense of humor doesn't dry out by the time it ends… and if it's somewhat dry in this chapter, please forgive me... haha! And again, THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Chapter Five- Cults and One Too Many Secrets

10:09 p.m.

Before I could twist the game wheel, I felt Edward tap my shoulder lightly. "Do you realize," he said softly, "that we haven't lost any money yet?"

I gasped. "You jinxed it! Great, we're gonna start losing money now because you said it and jinxed it!" I pulled my lips into an exaggerated pout as I sent the wheel into a slow spin, which then stopped on '5'.

Edward chuckled. "You are unreasonably superstitious, Bella."

"What do you mean '_unreasonably_'?" I demanded, grabbing our blue car and dropping it onto the 'GET MARRIED' space, which halted our five-space move.

"Well," he began, lithely picking up a LIFE tile, "vampires and werewolves are each a major superstition, and you were so firmly willing to believe in them. So other minor superstitions such as so-called _jinxes_ shouldn't be worth fretting over."

I opened my mouth wide to feign shock. "If I believe in vampires and werewolves, then it's only right that I believe in other superstitions," I stated, folding my arms together.

"Can't argue with that logic," remarked Emmett with a sharp laugh. He carelessly pointed at Edward. "Can't understand yours, though."

"We shall test your superstition then, Bella," said Edward coolly, ignoring his brother and twisting the wheel. It stopped on '1', much to his angry surprise, and to my satisfaction: we were to land on 'Wedding reception. Pay 10,000'. Not only that, but…

"You bought my art!" declared Jasper triumphantly, holding out a hand towards us. I raised a smug eyebrow at Edward.

"Coincidence," he hissed. "You never wanted a fancy wedding, much less a reception. Pure change of mind, pure coincidence."

I shrugged and gave Jasper a ten-thousand-dollar note and the bank another.

"I thought there was no such thing as a coincidence to you," commented Alice with a grin. Edward shot her a dark look.

"Nah, this isn't a coincidence," I told him, "this is my spirit's payback for being called unreasonable. It forgives you now, by the way."

"Superstitions…" murmured Rosalie as she leaned forwards and spun the wheel. "Some are just plain ridiculous. You won't find me acting on any."

"Like the time you told me to join that cult because you said I'd be punished if I didn't?" asked Emmett casually.

Rosalie glanced at him curiously. "I remember saying no such thing."

"Yes you did. You told me that if I didn't get myself in, I'd be plagued with bad luck for years to come."

"No, no, that's not what she said," cut in Alice, shaking her head vigorously. "She said that if you didn't join, you'd regret it for the rest of your life, because she never did, and therefore, would torment you endlessly for making the wrong decision."

"I said no such thing!" insisted Rosalie furiously.

"And how is _that_ a superstition?" I inquired.

"It isn't," said Emmett with a shrug. "I just remembered that time, that's all."

"So what kind of cult was that?" I asked curiously.

"Of the religious kind," muttered Edward, "and the controversial sort."

"The _Ragers_, that's what the members were called," said Emmett, lifting his head thoughtfully. "Never knew why though, never exactly cared either. Anyway…" He exhaled a long sigh. "I quit after a week."

"'Cause they made him to pledge to retain his virginity!" squealed Alice.

I burst into laughter. "HA! Like that would ever happen!"

"Didn't that cult have like a motto or something?" mused Jasper. "Something like, um.. 'hail to the ragers, hail to the candle'... was it candle, Emmett?"

"'Cavalry'," replied Emmett cheerfully. "Never got that either."

"Useless person," remarked Edward with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh, and we sacrificed crows, too, but I think that was just for show..."

"Wait, wait," I cried, waving my hand about, "what exactly did they make you say when you had to pledge to retain your virginity?"

"Who said anything about me actually pledging?" said Emmett smugly.

"Oh, the house would be so much more quieter it that had happened," murmured Esme, stroking her cheek wistfully. Carlisle uttered a chuckle.

"And we wouldn't have to spend so much on repairs," he added. Rosalie gazed at them rather peevishly.

"But what did they want you to _say_, Emmett?" I pressed on.

"Ehm... I don't really remember. I think..."

"I HEREBY CLEANSE MYSELF OF THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS OF FILTH!" shouted Alice. "FOR GOD ALMIGHTY HAS JOINED US!"

"For heaven's sake, Alice," said Rosalie irritably, cutting in Alice's laughter, "have you no consideration for us in revealing every one of our secrets?"

"What do you mean?" asked Alice innocently.

"You've been giving away information like a automated teller machine throughout the _entire _game!"

Alice gasped. "Like _what_?"

"Like the whole gay stalker thing," hissed Edward suddenly.

"Hey, you tattle-taled on Emmett about him kicking a football into a guy!" she retaliated.

"You mentioned the Chinese pandas, which so upset poor Bella," spoke up Esme. I cringed at the sudden inclusion in this argument.

"Well _excuse_ me for providing entertainment for Bella," answered Alice haughtily. "You want entertainment?" challenged Rosalie, rising to her feet. "I'll give you entertainment!" She whipped her head around to face me. "Bella, did you know that Alice once made out with another girl?"

"REALLY?" I screamed.

"WHAT?" yelled Jasper, slamming his palms upon the table in shock.

Rosalie leaned towards him. "Two of them, actually," she whispered with an air of self-satisfaction, "and at the same time."

"Way to go, Alice!" whooped Emmett, and then he pursed his lips into silence as his wife threw him a kind of you're-on-_my_-side look.

"How did you know that?" shrieked Alice.

"I saw you!" cried Rosalie, pointing an accusing finger at her sister. "You three disappeared behind some bushes, and I snuck a look. My, Alice, I didn't know you had it in you."

"I was... I-I..." spluttered Alice, the first time I had ever seen her at a loss for words. "It was a dare!" she exclaimed finally. "It was a dare! It- IT WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE TIME YOU STREAKED ACROSS THE CAFETERIA!"

"NO WAY!" I squealed.

Rosalie's hand flew to her cheek, as though she had just been slapped.

"You did what?" gasped Carlisle.

"YOU DID WHAT?" roared Emmett.

"THE CAFETERIA WAS EMPTY!" shrieked Rosalie, shaking her head maniacally. "It was the middle of the night! NO ONE WAS THERE! AND _THAT _WAS A DARE!"

"It's not like you to accept a dare!" pointed out Emmett in a loud, pained voice.

"I was pressured!" cried Rosalie. "AND ALICE... Alice... SHE WAS THE ONE WHO SCRATCHED YOUR CAR, EDWARD, NOT JACOB BLACK!"

This time Edward shot to his feet. "She did what?" he said in a piercing tone, glaring daggers at Alice, who took an terrified step back.

"It was an accident, Edward, I swear!" she said hastily.

"You gave Edward a reason to hate Jacob?" I said with sudden anger, although I couldn't recall seeing any scratch on Edward's Volvo.

"I'm sorry!" wailed Alice. "I-I couldn't bring myself to tell Edward the truth; I mean, he had just given me the 911 Turbo!"

Edward's entire body began to tremble, his face absolutely contorted with extreme rage. "It was a very... very... big... scratch," he muttered, almost inaudibly.

"I... I..." began Alice, glancing at him, then at me, and then at Edward again. Suddenly, she shot a finger in Emmett's direction. "Emmett had a dirty dream about Bella!"

At once I felt my blood run disgustingly cold. "EMMETT!" I yelled, folding my arms across my chest tightly, feeling violated.

Edward was shaking profusely now, his large eyes focused on his brother. He wasn't the only one: Rosalie was also glowering. It was Emmett's turn to cower.

"It was just a one-time thing!" he shouted, standing up defensively. "I swear, Edward, I wasn't even naked in the dream!"

"BUT _I _WAS?" I screamed.

"Uh... no?" replied Emmett uncertainly.

"But you said there was a lot of canoodling!" cried Alice. I could've killed her at that moment.

"I _knew _I shouldn't have told you!" responded Emmett furiously.

"Do I kill him, or you?" Edward asked Rosalie; I was distracted for a moment by the utter lividity of the pair's stance.

"Carlisle, I wasn't the one who burned your dissertation paper last month!" Emmett suddenly announced. "IT WAS EDWARD!"

Edward instantly froze, his focus shifting to Carlisle, who returned the gaze with much intensity.

"Do you know it took me three weeks to recover my notes completely?" he said quietly. "Do you know I'm still in the process of writing the dissertation again? Do you realize that you'd sent me back almost three months in my work?"

Edward's eyes widened but he said nothing, although I was certain he apologizing excessively in his head. After a few moments, however, he shouted: "EMMETT AND ROSALIE HAD SEX IN YOUR CAR!"

"EDWARD!" screamed Rosalie in horror.

I clutched my face in exasperation, wondering when this battle would end. Apparently, board games have a tendency to bring out the worst in people.

"EDWARD CRIED WHEN HE WATCHED 'THE NOTEBOOK'!" yelled Emmett.

"That couple had no one but themselves!" declared Edward. "YOU COULDN'T STOP CRYING WHEN YOU WATCHED 'THE LITTLE PRINCESS'!"

"SHE WAS REUNITED WITH HER FATHER!" roared Emmett. "THAT WAS THE HAPPIEST MOMENT OF HER LIFE!"

"You started crying the moment _she _started crying," cut in Alice, "at the beginning of the movie!"

"Oh, _please_," snapped Rosalie, "_you_ couldn't stop touching yourself when you watched 'The Sound of Music'!"

"Okay, I am officially disturbed by the fact that nuns and Nazis turn you on, Alice," I moaned.

"Speak for yourself, Rosalie!" shouted Alice. "You touch yourself when you just look at flowers!"

"Oh, _really_?" said Emmett slyly. There was a loud smack as Rosalie slapped her husband's shoulder. "Hey, ow!"

"JASPER MAKES POTPOURRI AS A HOBBY!" cried Rosalie.

Jasper glanced at her, clearly startled. I had actually forgotten about his presence. "What's wrong with that?" he asked defensively.

"Nothing, Jasmine," replied Emmett with a wide grin.

"You helped me one time, Emma," snapped Jasper.

"Alright, that's enough!" announced Esme, holding up a delicate hand.

"Oh, now you wanna get pretty?" challenged Emmett, jerking his head to one side so that his neck crackled. "Alright, Jasmine, let's see, you RETURNED the purchases Alice made last week..."

"_YOU'RE _THE ONE WHO STOLE THEM?" screeched Alice, whipping around to face her husband.

"I needed the extra money for something!" said Jasper apologizingly.

"For something more important than your WIFE'S NEEDS?" cried Alice.

"Let's see..." continued Emmett smugly, "hey Alice, you know those lilies Jasper gave you last Valentine's? Yeah, they weren't shipped overseas, they were -guess what?- handpicked from our backyard. Hey, Rose, feel any different?" Emmett nudged his wife. "Lilies? Flowers?"

Rosalie shot him a very dark look.

"I'm surprised you even know what lilies look like," snapped Jasper, obviously trying to avoid another outburst from his wife. "Look who's being pretty now, Mr. Wet-My-Bed!"

"Hey, that was _one time_!" barked Emmett, and I thought I could see his pale cheeks turn a slight pink. "After I dreamt of... of..."

"OF BELLA?" roared Edward with such anger I actually flinched.

"You know, come to think of it," said Jasper thoughtfully, "you've been getting waves of lust ever since that night, when I knew you had a dirty dream because I almost fainted from the desire radiating off you."

"You -!" began Emmett.

"BUT," continued Jasper stubbornly, "you never had that much lust for Rosalie alone. So I could only assume that there were more than two people in that dream!"

"NOO..." said Alice, looking shocked and intrigued at the same time.

"EMMETT!" yelled both Rosalie and Edward.

Suddenly, I saw all four of them disappear, and then before I had even blinked I heard a number of loud crashes from upstairs. I tried to take in the situation; the mess of chairs before me, the exasperated faces of Carlisle and Esme, the forgotten game on the table. I supposed that both Alice and Emmett had taken after Jasper, and Edward and Rosalie had taken after Emmett alone.

Esme uttered a long sigh, before she stood up and gazed at the ceiling. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" she commanded. "From all of you!"

Still disoriented, I decided to at least take the opportunity to arrange the chairs, poor disregarded things. I bent to pick up Rosalie's chair.

_SLAM!_

Something hard collided with my shoulder, and I screamed with surprise and pain. My legs gave way, and I collapsed to the floor, my head just missing the edge of the table. At once I heard a number of gasps, and felt someone touch my thigh.

"Bella, are you alright?" demanded Edward wildly.

"I am _so _sorry!" moaned Alice. "It was my fault."

"No, I got in the way..." I said, cringing at the pain. "Ow..."

"No, it wasn't Alice's fault, _I _went near you," said Emmett. "She was following me."

"We were _all_ following you," said Rosalie drily, but I could see the concern on her face as she gazed down at me.

Esme sighed again, and she and Edward helped me to my feet. "Look at what happened," she said softly. "Because of your childish behavior! This game was supposed to be exactly that, a game! I want you all to sit down this very instant. I am _very _disappointed in you all. Except for you, dear," she added, smiling warmly at me. "Are you certain you're alright?"

"Yes. thank you," I replied, massaging my arm tentatively.

There was a series of apologetic mutters as everyone settled into their seats. Without thinking I breathed out a sigh of my own. Talk about bloodshed.

10:47 p.m.

"Now Rosalie, I believe it was your turn," said Esme authoritatively.

"Bella, will you hold out the house cards," muttered Rosalie, her eyes downcast. As I did so and she drew two cards, I noticed the sudden change in the atmosphere. It was colder now, and immensely uncomfortable. I looked around the table. Apparently, no one was making eye-contact.

"I'm taking the mobile home," said Rosalie tonelessly, throwing the other House card back to me. "Fortunately, it's the one I can just afford."

"What's it have?" asked Alice, a little timidly.

Rosalie glanced at her warily, but replied: "It says, 'Deals on Wheels realty. Aluminum-sided little beauty. Great location, lovely view. Trailer hitch included.' I can't believe I'm resorting to tin cans for a home."

"Do you think that can support us both?" spoke up Emmett, lifting a sly eyebrow.

"It's going to crumble to pieces on your first night," remarked Edward with a ghost of a smile.

To my relief, Emmett let out a chuckle. Even Rosalie cracked a slight smile, as she handed me sixty thousand dollars, and spun the game wheel, which stopped on '6'. She nodded in satisfaction. "This is where I get my money back. Bella, ten thousand dollars. I won the talent show."

"Doing what exactly?" I teased, giving her the money.

"Being the most beautiful," she answered matter-of-factly. I giggled in spite of myself.

"And now it's our turn again," announced Carlisle, grabbing his and Esme's orange car with one hand, and twisting the wheel with the other. It stopped on '6' again.

"Bella, a bit of a problem." Carlisle pointed to a particular space on the board that forked into two paths. "Where to go?"

"It's up to you," I said, shrugging. "Go wherever you want."

"Let's see, what do you think, dear? Should we... trade our salary card with any player, or collect a stock?"

At this Emmett's eyes widened. Carlisle placed the car on the blue space, and then he and Esme gazed at Emmett intently.

"We love you, son," said Carlisle seriously. "Even if you almost killed our beloved Bella a few seconds ago. Won't you say you love us, too?"

"THIS IS BLACKMAIL!" yelled Emmett, slamming a palm upon his salary card. "NO, NO, NO, _NO_! And it was ALICE, not me!"

In a flash Emmett's hand went soaring into the air, and I just saw Carlisle dash back into his chair, holding Emmett's ninety-thousand-dollar salary card triumphantly.

"Alice, it's your turn," said Esme in a honeyed voice.

10:49 p.m.

Alice regarded Emmett's hurtful expression with a grin, and spun the wheel. "Bella, I'm really sorry," she said again, eyeing me pitifully.

"It's okay, really," I answered, and I meant it. "I must say, though, I didn't think this night would be so exciting. This definitely beats reading _Wuthering Heights _again."

"Anything beats that," said Edward playfully, winking at me.

"Okay, Bella, I have to buy a house!" said Alice cheerfully.

"I'll do it," offered Jasper, taking the house cards and spreading them out into a fan before Alice. She narrowed her eyes.

"Don't think I don't have a bone to pick with you," she said irritably, drawing two cards. "AH CRAP! They're both expensive! Bella, I can't pick again, can I?"

I shook my head smilingly.

"Fine..." she grumbled, peering at the two cards. "It's that pig and cow farm... and then a Tudor; in the description they spelled the number two as _t u_, 'tutime realty: tufloors, tubaths, tucar garage. Perfect for tupeople with tukids or more'. How very... nope, can't think of a word beginning with tu."

"So... do you need a loan?" I asked. The scowl I received answered an affirmative. "How much do you need?"

"Two hundred thousand," she muttered.

Emmett released a low whistle under his breath, and I handed her the loan.

"That loan better not become a reality, lady," said Carlisle warningly. Alice's eyes widened.

"This game hates me!" she whined, throwing back to me a hundred-and-eighty dollars and twisting the game wheel hard. It stopped on '2', which brought her car to...

"I LOSE MY JOB?" she shrieked. "SEE? IT _DOES _HATE ME! I have to start a new career!" She flung her upper body onto the table and stared frantically at me. "Bella, Bella, please, I know you hate me for hitting you, but please, _please_, let me keep my job!"

I looked at her, bewildered and at a loss for words, and then glanced at Edward, whose lips were upturned in a amused smile. "Um... well, it's not really for me to say. I didn't make the rules of the game. You have to follow what it says, kinda like kosher."

Alice opened her mouth to protest again when a sudden thought seemed to occur to her. "Wait, that means I don't have to be a salesperson anymore... and I could have a higher salary!" She slid back into her chair and happily grabbed her Career and Salary card, and threw them to me. "Lay 'em on me, Bella!"

"God, this woman's mind just changes like _that_-" Emmett snapped his fingers. Alice shot him an offended look.

"Well..." I began hesitantly, "you only have two to choose from, actually."

"That's okay!" she exclaimed, plucking one card from my hand. "Anything's better than a salesperson!" She flipped the card over, and squealed. "See? I'm an _accountant_!"

"Oh, you can't have that," I said, taking the card back. "You need a degree for that."

Alice was not to be daunted. With as much fervor as before, she grabbed the other card. "Fine, then, I'm a computer consultant, which means... ah, I get fifty thousand dollars every time the 'spinner stops between numbers or comes off the track'. How often does that happen, eh?"

"Um, once so far?" quipped Rosalie.

"Bella, my salary, please," said Alice loudly, deliberately ignoring her sister.

I fanned out the Salary cards for her to pick one, and when she did, she broke into a triumphant grin.

"YES! I get fifty thousand dollars now! Woohoo!"

"Speaking of salaries..." said Rosalie thoughtfully, peering at her Career card, and then at the number of LIFE tiles before her. "How... unfortunate."

"What's unfortunate, dear?" asked Esme.

"Oh, if I had four LIFE tiles, I could exchange them for a yellow salary, and I only have two. Didn't you say that was the highest salary in the game, Bella?" She glanced at me expectantly, and I nodded.

"I miss _my _salary," muttered Emmett, eyeing Carlisle irritably.

**A/N**: Hahaha, I love the secrets-spilling part. And again, thank you all for your suggestions and reviews!!And any more suggestions would be very much appreciated, as well as needed!! Please tell me more and please vote if you haven't! Mwi mwi dear readers!!


	6. Garlic and High Definition TVs

**A/N**: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! I'm glad you like this story and find it funny!! Okay, so here we go again, the next phase of their game... haha!

Chapter Six- Garlic and High-Definition TVs

10:51 p.m.

Again, I glanced at the clock in the room, and my eyes widened at the time. "Do you realize," I said in slight awe, "we've been playing this game for almost three hours, and we're not even halfway yet?"

"Looks like you're not getting any sleep tonight, Bella," remarked Jasper with a grin.

"If you want to sleep now, Bella, it's perfectly alright," said Esme kindly, but I shook my head quickly.

"No, no, I wanna finish this! I mean, we're straying from the game a lot and I have to see who wins or who loses... unless Alice would care to share?"

"Trying to keep my mind's eye closed, remember?" Alice replied with a wink, tapping her temple.

"You'll just have to have a double dosage of sleep tomorrow night," said Emmett cheerfully. Something about his words sparked a question in my head.

"Speaking of sleep... vampires don't sleep, right?" I glanced at Edward, who nodded. "Then... I can't believe I'm bringing this up again, but I'm really confused; how in the world did you have a-" I cleared my throat hoarsely "-dirty dream about me, Emmett?" I shuddered as soon as the words fell from my dry lips.

At once Emmett looked extremely uncomfortable, either due to my question or to Edward's sudden stiffness and Rosalie's scowl. "Well... we _don't _sleep... but... er..."

"Let me explain," offered Carlisle with an amused smile. "You see, Bella, we really _don't _sleep, but there are instances, when we sit still for long periods of time, our minds fall into a sort of trance, like... an echo, say, of the sleep we used to fall into when we were human. Like sleep has become a habit for the body. So, in that state, our minds wander, and eventually dream, in a sense."

"So _that's_ why when I walked in on you just sitting quiet that day, you suddenly blocked your mind from me," said Edward quietly. "You were fantasizing about Bella!"

"I had no control over the dream!" said Emmett defensively. "Like Carlisle said, I was in a trance!"

"One that you can escape from anytime you wish to," commented Carlisle.

"Oh, gross..." I moaned, feeling goosebumps prickle my arms at the thought of Emmett fantasizing about me.

"And who was the other person in the dream?" demanded Rosalie.

"I believe that conversation was ended awhile ago," spoke up Esme in a loud, commanding tone, giving Rosalie a hard look. "Now, whose turn is it?"

"Mine..." mumbled Emmett, his eyes deliberately downcast, as he leaned forward and sent the game wheel into a slow spin, which stopped on '3'. "Where am I?" he then asked in slight confusion, looking about the game board. "Ah... _way _over here... to, yes!" He plucked his green car from 'Car accident. Pay 10,000 if not insured' to 'PAY DAY'. "Yes! Ha, looks like I might be the one winning this thing! Bella, sixty thousand, please."

"Just wait until you get a house," said Rosalie darkly, as I passed the money to Emmett.

"_I'm _getting one," groaned Jasper; his car was just before the space 'You may BUY A HOUSE. Draw Deed'. "I won't spin anymore, whatever I get I have to stop here anyway."

"Okay, Jasper," I said, taking the House cards and spreading them out into a messy fan, "pick two."

He rubbed his hands vigorously together -a sudden image of a suit-clad gangster making a hefty gamble during poker popped into my head for some reason- and reached forward and drew two cards from my grip. "Alright," he said carefully, "so I have a log cabin and a split-level... both fortunately affordable."

"Rub it in, why don't you," snapped Alice.

Jasper glanced at his wife in a manner more amused than apologetic or angry. Alice seemed to stiffen, after which he broke into a broad grin. And then, quite to my surprise, they bent close and touched their lips together.

"Did... did I just miss something, or did you two just make up?" I wondered aloud.

"They struck a bargain you wouldn't quite care to hear," said Edward casually.

Immediately curious, I was about to declare that I _did _care to hear, when I saw Emmett nod his head approvingly, and wink at Jasper. My insides did a somersault. So it was a bargain of _that _sort.

As if suddenly sensing my discomfort, Jasper looked away from his wife, who was now grinning from ear to ear. "Okay, so the log cabin is eighty thousand bucks, and is a 'Rod N. Realty: rustic charm in a woodland setting. Loft with sky light, stone fireplace. Near Lake...' er, 'Ketch-ee... fishy." He let out a chuckle. "Original."

"What's the split-level have, dear?" asked Esme.

"Um... okay, it's forty thousand dollars-"

"ONLY?" cried Rosalie incredulously.

"Yup, and it's a 'faultline realty', whatever that means. 'Was one level before the 'quake. Now a real fixer-upper for adventurous folks'. So basically it's a dump that needs a _lot _of repairs."

"But it's a good sale, honey," cooed Alice, snaking an arm around Jasper's. I laughed; leave it to Alice to make such a comment.

Jasper nodded, and handed the other House card back to me. "Yeah, and at least I won't have to take a loan to buy it." He counted out his money notes, and slid across to me forty thousand.

"So what d'you think's wrong with the house?" I asked.

"The picture shows literally a split-level house," said Jasper, holding up the card. "Torn right down the middle. So I'm guessing _plenty's_ wrong with it. Ah, easily rebuilt."

"Well, that's not fair, you're vampires," I pointed out with mock seriousness. "You have advantage over human construction workers. You wanna tear it down, you just _jog_ through it. Ooh, I can't wait until I can get to do that, too..."

"That reminds me of a certain mishap of mine," said Carlisle thoughtfully.

"What? When?" demanded Alice.

Carlisle smiled toothily. "This was long before when it was just Esme and I; we were in Bucharest, Wallachia, for a time, and we had bought this small but lovely cottage. It was on the point of collapsing, however, so we decided to rebuild it. Of course, to avoid rising any suspicion from the villagers nearby, we asked for some of their help."

Esme let out a bell-like peal of laughter. "Oh, I remember that!"

"And then?" pressed Emmett.

"Well," continued Carlisle, "four of the fifteen villagers offered to help; big, healthy chaps they were. Anyway, they got to work on one of the walls, and I decided to work on another, taking me with me a giant hammer for show. So I, as you put it, Bella, _jogged _ through the wall, quite certain none of the helpers had seen me. I was gravely mistaken."

Esme shook her head in laughter. "I'd never seen such a terrified man before then," she declared.

"What happened?" asked Edward, frowning.

"One of the men saw me, apparently, when he had walked around the house to inspect it. Dear me, he looked close to screaming."

"Why?" I asked suddenly, "I mean, they knew the house was close to collapsing, so didn't they just assume that any force would be enough to bring it down?"

Carlisle didn't answer me, only looked at me with an even wider smile.

"Bella," said Edward slowly, meeting my gaze, "do you know about Wallachia?"

I racked my brain for the familiar place. "Yeah, that was where Vlad the Impaler died. Count Dracula."

"Exactly, dear," said Esme kindly. "We were there in a period when superstitious belief still held the citizens."

Comprehension dawned upon me. "OH! So the helper thought you were a vampire! Oh, well, you _are_... ha ha, how ironic is that."

"Precisely." Carlisle nodded. "And the villagers were already suspicious, since we were not as dark-toned as they. Of course, we had to leave as soon as possible."

"How come you never mentioned this before?" asked Edward, his frown deepening.

Carlisle shrugged. "I didn't think much of it."

10:57 p.m.

"Was Dracula really a vampire?" I asked curiously.

"In Bram Stoker's opinion, he was," said Alice with a giggle. "And pervious to garlic."

"Yeah, how does that work exactly?"

"Maybe his dad forced him to eat garlic for half of his life," mused Emmett.

"And tortured him if he didn't," concluded Jasper with a grin, twisting the game wheel. "OH! BABY GIRL!" He grabbed a pink people peg and pushed it into his car happily.

Alice clamped a hand over her mouth. "A baby girl?" she whispered, her eyes widening.

"What should we call her?" grinned Jasper.

"Alice Junior," I joked.

Alice shook her head wildly. "No, the suffix 'junior' is only used for babies whose parents have no real imagination."

"Of _course_ not, dear," said Esme with a little laugh, "it be can for babies whose parents wish to have their names carried on. There's a certain pride to it, I suppose."

"Well, _I'm_ not naming my child anything junior," said Alice, pouting. "Hmm... I have to think about this..."

"While we spin," said Edward, motioning to the game wheel with his hand. "Bella, would you care to do the honors?" he asked me with a sensuous grin.

"It would be my pleasure, kind sir," I answered in an exaggerated British accent, something I'd been recently practicing for the mere reason of passing time. It came in handy during one particularly dragging day at _Newton's Outfitters_. Mike had given me about five different kinds of odd looks when he caught me in the act.

I gave the wheel a quick twist, which halted at '8', and Edward took our blue car and began to move it along the path. In that moment the thought of garlic came into my mind again.

"Hey," I said, "about garlic again, does it affect you guys in any way?" Every single one of the Cullens broke into snickers. I folded my arms on the table and tried to look nonchalant. "I'm just asking."

"Well, it does give me nasty breath," spoke up Emmett with a wide grin.

"Oh, I get abnormally large burns on my skin," said Alice cheerfully. "Smelly ones, too."

"No, that's not what I mean! I mean, _why garlic_? Why does Dracula hate garlic?It's just... _silly_!"

"Even the undead have irrational fears," remarked Jasper smilingly.

I straightened in immediate intrigue. "Really? Name some of yours!"

"Bella," said Edward, touching my arm and thus awakening a multitude of nerves under my skin, "fifty thousand dollars, please. We won the lottery."

"Ooh, cool!" I handed him the money, and then grabbed his own rock-hard arm. "Hey Edward, do _you_ have any irrational fears?"

He shook his head in a solemn fashion. "My fears are all rational."

"Like your insane fear that I might die any second?" I said dryly.

"_That's_ rational," he said, lifting a single eyebrow. "You _could _die at any second. Need I remind you that you are quite literally a hazard to yourself?"

"So you don't have any irrational fears," I said, ignoring his comment.

"None whatsoever."

"He's afraid of monkeys," spoke up Emmett amusedly.

"Really?" I exclaimed gleefully.

"I am _not_," retorted Edward, glaring at his brother.

"You _were_," said Alice, stroking her chin, "there was a particular time you used to _hate _going anywhere near them."

"Maybe when he was a child he was nearly killed by a monkey throwing nuts at him," suggested Rosalie smugly.

"Don't be ridiculous," Edward snapped. He jerked his head towards the game wheel. "It's your turn."

She grinned, and leaned forward, gracefully twisting the wheel, which stopped on '8'. "Well, when _I _ was a little girl I used to scared of cats..."

"Bella!" called Edward suddenly, making me jump in my seat. I spun to face him and immediately grew concerned of the horror on his marble face.

"What's wrong?" I demanded.

"Rosalie just spun an eight. Before that, _we _spun an eight. Read our career card." He fluidly picked up our Entertainer card and held it out in front of me.

"'Big break'," I read aloud, "'If two eights, nines, or tens are spun in a row, replace your salary card WITH THE YELLOW SALARY CARD'!" I gasped in triumphant joy.

"NOOOO!" wailed Emmett.

Rosalie dropped her mouth open, looking absolutely livid.

I wildly hunted the game's box for that wonderful Yellow Salary card, and when I found it, I held it up for all the world to see. "A-hundred-thousand-dollar salary!" I cried, flinging my arms around Edward's neck for a brief squeeze.

"Now I'm depressed!" said Emmett, scowling.

"_You're _depressed?" scoffed Rosalie, grabbing her red car and slamming it on a space seven moves from where it had been. "I have the least salary among us! _And_ I'm at a fork, and no matter which path I choose, I land on a space where I have to pay five thousand dollars!"

Emmett frowned, then peered at the game board. "Ooh, buy the TV. Otherwise Carlisle gets the money for the family physicals thing. And Alice isn't a salesperson anymore."

"How nice," said Alice sarcastically. "I change jobs, and still no money opportunities!"

"Fine," spat Rosalie, viciously moving her car to 'Buy high-definition TV. Pay 5000'. "Here." She threw a five-thousand-dollar note in my direction. But my good mood was not be to deteriorated by her foul one.

"Thank youuu," I sang.

"Cheer up, Rose," said Edward, grinning, "it's just a game."

She made a face at him. "I'm not sharing my TV with you two."

"Hey, is it the one-hundred-and-two-inch Samsung one?" asked Emmett with sudden eagerness.

Rosalie gazed at him. "Worth just five thousand dollars?" she sneered.

"Oh, yeah... man, that's just like, what, a tiny piece of the display!"

"I think you can get a midget TV at that price," I teased, bringing my index finger and my thumb close together in the act of pinching something.

"You know what," said Rosalie suddenly, pointing a finger at me, "this doesn't matter. Because once I get four LIFE tiles, I can take your Yellow Salary for my own!"

I froze. "Okay, um, Edward," I said, patting his arm, "now I fear for our salary..."

His eyes narrowed contemplatively. "Well... at least it's secured for now."

"But not for long," said Rosalie smugly.

11:00 p.m.

"Alright dear," said Esme to Carlisle, "it's our turn again. You spin."

"No, I spun the last time. You go." He gave her a warm grin, which she gladly returned, as she gave the game wheel a swift twist.

"Hey," piped up Alice, "what's the name of that new TV that has the colors coming out of the screen? Ah-something..."

"Altima?" I suggested.

She looked at me rather sympathetically. "That's a car, Bella."

"It is?"

"Yeah... hmm... damn, I'm gonna be racking my brain the whole day for the name... and none of you are going to tell me the name of it, because none of you know!"

"Isn't it Aurion?" asked Emmett curiously.

"Now _that's _a car," I grinned. "And what do you mean, coming out of the screen?"

"Um, it's like the colors actually come _out_... the frame's white, and the colors just appear there, from whatever's on the screen... ugh, I can't explain. Forget I asked."

"Alice," called out Esme suddenly.

"Hm?"

"It's your turn, dear."

Confused, I peered at the game board. "It is? Where did you guys go?"

Carlisle held up a LIFE tile he had managed to take without my noticing. "We're running for mayor."

"Ooh, I call event planner!" squealed Alice, shooting a willowy arm into the air.

"Aw, and I was just about to call it," I groaned exaggeratedly. Alice giggled.

"So," she began, "we'll be needing badges, banners - ooh! A parade float! With the words, 'Carlisle and Esme for Mayor' in big, blue-and-white colors!"

"Does Forks even _have_ a Mayor?" I asked curiously.

A sudden silence greeted me.

"Huh," said Emmett thoughtfully, "you know what, that question never occurred to me."

"I do believe there _is _a Mayor," said Carlisle, frowning. "But I think he's a timid fellow, not too keen on making public appearances."

"What's the use of being Mayor if you don't go out and meet the people?" remarked Alice incredulously.

"I read somewhere that not only is there a Mayor," spoke up Edward, "but there's a five member elected City Council."

"Well, I care not for government affairs," I said with a haughty toss of my head.

Edward smiled at me in amusement.

"Okay, my turn," chirped Alice, spinning the game wheel with a dramatic flourish, which stopped on '5'. She grabbed her yellow car and moved it along, counting the spaces loudly, before erupting: "YES! PAY DAY! FINALLY I get my money!"

I laughed at the ecstatic and triumphant grin on her face. "How much was it again?"

"Fifty thousand dollars," she replied, happily bobbing her head to some inaudible tune.

"So who's ahead so far?" asked Rosalie suddenly, as I handed Alice her salary.

"What, you mean in money?" asked Emmett. "Well, let's see..." He proceeded to collect his money notes, when a swift movement of Esme's hand made him pause.

"Isn't it more fun to know that at the _end _of the game?" she suggested with a single perfect eyebrow raised.

"I agree," I said, shrugging.

Emmett made a face that sharply reminded me of a puppy dog. "But... but..."

Esme only smiled and shook her head. But I could see Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper pick up their notes nonetheless and silently count them. Only Emmett, Carlisle and Edward did nothing, the latter two just glancing at the money in a kind of pensive manner.

Emmett let out a huff and twisted the game wheel, which stopped noisily at '7'. "Looks like it's my turn to buy a house," he groaned.

I gathered the remaining House cards, leaned across the table, and held them out before him, and he drew two rather grudgingly. That left just Edward and I without a house yet, and I realized with a cringe that the cheapest houses had been taken already.

"Okay, so we got a cozy condo, and a _beach house_, alright!" His eyebrows danced suggestively at Rosalie, whose face broke into a slow smile.

"Oh, here we go again with the beach house," moaned Edward.

I suddenly felt an odd feeling wash over me, a kind of intense heat. Without thinking, I practically leapt out of my chair, grabbed Edward's face, and planted a deep kiss on his cold lips.

A burst of laughter erupted all around me, but for some reason, I couldn't pull away - not that I wanted to, but I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was doing something quite embarrassing - one of my legs was literally resting on his thigh, for crying out loud. I finally managed to pull my lips off Edward's, however, when he gently did so for me. After a moment's daze, I noticed that he looked angry.

"Jasper!" he hissed, much to my relief. I glanced at the said person in confusion, who was doubling up with laughter. That's when it hit me.

"Jasper!" I gasped, blushing profusely.

"I couldn't resist!" he declared between laughs. "I was getting too much of it off Emmett... I had to throw it _somewhere_!"

"Beach house looking appealing now, eh, Edward?" said Emmett with a grin.

**A/N**: Another chapter complete! Hey, did any of you read _The Historian _by Elizabeth Kostova? IT'S AMAZING! It completely dives into the possible vampirism of Dracula (hence the inclusion in this story... I don't know, he seemed like an interesting topic to discuss), and it does so in a very creepy but story-like way... read it if you haven't!! Oh, but it doesn't explain why Dracula hates garlic... anyhoo, thanks so much for all your reviews!! Please give me suggestions if you have any, and please vote if you haven't! Byee!!

Oh yeah, and thanks to all those who noticed the error I made about vampires not sleeping... so didn't occur to me!! Haha!!

And oh yes, on another side note, I just published three new Draco/ Hermione stories, and I would really appreciate it if you fans of that pair check them out!! It's my first attempt on writing about them, so... yeah... please check them out and please tell me what you think!

One last thing (I promise!)... what _is _the name of that new TV that has the colors flying off the screen? I forgot!!


	7. Movie Premieres and Mistresses

**A/N**: I'm so sorry for the delay! Seriously, my mind has been a blank lately… so please bear with me if this chapter isn't that funny…

Anyway, again, THANK YOU ALL SO, SO, SOO MUCH for your reviews! I'm so happy so many people like this story!! And also a big thanks and a bear hug to those who suggested stuff for me to use!! MWAH!

Okay, readers have asked me how I'm writing this, as in do I have the actual game board right in front of me, or am I making all of this up... well, to answer for their sakes and for the sakes of all those who also want to know, I _do _have the actual game, but to save me the trouble of opening the board, making reference here and there (it's a HUGE board...), I copied everything by hand, into a little notebook I always use for story notes... so everything I need is in there... there was actually a moment after I moved houses when I thought I lost it... I was HYSTERICAL with panic... haha! So, yeah, that's it, any more questions feel free to ask away...

Alright then, so here's:

Chapter Seven- Movie Premieres and Mistresses

11:03 p.m.

"That wasn't funny, Jasper," I retorted, my cheeks still hot. "That was so embarrassing!"

He only let out another laugh, much to my annoyance. "I'm sorry, Bella. But come on, don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."

My blush reached critical mass. "W-well... yeah..." I mumbled, glancing at Edward, whose glare softened into a warm smile as he shifted focus from Jasper to me.

"I am _so _taking the beach house now," declared Emmett laughingly, throwing the other House card in my direction, along with a hundred and forty thousand dollars. "And away we go!" he exclaimed, sending the game wheel into a fast spin, which stopped on '4'. He peered at the game board. "What? I have to pay five thousand bucks just to furnish a baby room?" He sat up, his jaw dropping in apparent disbelief. "I don't even _have _a baby!"

"But you're expecting one," remarked Rosalie offhandedly.

"No, I'm–" Emmett suddenly broke off, seeing Rosalie's fine eyebrows rise dangerously high into her forehead. "Um, yes, I _am_, thank you! Silly me… here Bella!" He handed me a five-thousand-dollar note, a too-large grin pasted on his pale face. "Jasper, your turn."

"With pleasure…" Jasper twisted the wheel, which stopped on '3', but not before Alice inhaled a piercing gasp that rattled my ears. "What, what's wrong?" he demanded wildly.

"Alice?" said Edward, his entire body stiff with alertness. I regarded her horrified expression with one of my own. What did she just see?

She looked around at each of us with glassy eyes, in utter silence. That is, until Rosalie leaned forward, gave the game board a curious glance, and said, in a grim voice:

"Twins."

Before any one of us could reply, Alice released a scream: "TWINS! WE HAVE TWINS!"

"Oh my God, I have three children…" whispered Jasper, clutching the collar of his shirt uncertainly.

"Don't scare us like that, Alice!" barked Edward in annoyance, slumping against his chair and folding his arms. "Your mind was in complete turmoil!"

Alice didn't bother to hear him. "Twins, twins, twins, I have twins!" she sang merrily, grabbing two blue pegs and plunging them into Jasper's car, which had somehow moved.

"_Jasper _has twins, not you," murmured Emmett, rolling his eyes.

Alice stuck out her tongue at him. "You're just jealous you don't have any–"

"You don't have any either," muttered Emmett, and I giggled.

"–Jasper, sweetie," continued Alice, "what should we name them?"

Jasper looked sideways at her. "Uh…"

"Well," she interrupted, pointing a manicured finger at the pink peg, "I decided to name the girl Zara Milan –isn't that pretty?– and as for the boys, this is Ted Cole and Marc Klein… AUREA!" she suddenly cried out, making me jump again.

"Excuse me?" asked Emmett. "And Marc Klein _what_?"

Alice shook her head. "No, no, his name is just Marc Klein… I meant 'Aurea' is the name of the TV with the colors coming off the screen! I just remembered! It's by Philips… ooh, that's a good name…"

"Is it just me, or are those names all brands?" I asked curiously.

"They're _combinations_ of brands," corrected Alice with a grin.

"I'm not naming my children after retail stores!" exclaimed Jasper.

Alice gasped. "They're not _retail stores_! How _dare _you call them that?"

"Okay, moving along, MOVING ALONG," I declared, trying to avoid yet another spat between the couple. "It's our turn!" I leaned forward and flicked the game wheel into an awkward spin.

"Can you be any more graceful?" commented Rosalie in a cool voice. I narrowed my eyes at her, but didn't say anything.

"Oh, looks like we're finally buying a house of our own, Bella my love," said Edward, straightening. In a manner that was definitely graceful –beyond comparison– he picked up the remaining House cards and spread them out facedown into a perfect fan before me. "Choose wisely."

"I'll try," I told him playfully, and I shut my eyes and drew two cards. "Okay, what are they?" I asked, opening my eyes and holding the cards up towards him.

He cocked his head to one side, letting silken strands of his bronze hair fall across his smooth forehead. Impulsively I reached out and brushed them aside. He grinned.

"Well," he said in a sensuously slow voice, "we have two drastically contrasting houses to choose from. One is a Victorian, a little above our current budget…"

"Ooh, what's the description?" asked Alice eagerly; I noticed she was fondly fingering the three people pegs in Jasper's car.

"It's a 'blithering heights realty'… I know that pleases you," he added, winking at me. "With a 'library, servants' quarters, marble fireplaces' and a 'wraparound porch'."

"Hmm, what to do with all that space…" I said in mock thoughtfulness.

"Entertain us?" suggested Rosalie nonchalantly.

"Oh, that reminds me," spoke up Carlisle, "Esme, guess who decided to call to say they might be dropping by for a visit."

Esme's face lit up. "Oh, are they? That'll be fun!"

"They're coming?" gasped Alice. "_All_ of them?"

I inclined my head. "Um, _who's _coming, if you don't mind me asking?"

Carlisle smiled. "Of course we don't mind, Bella, and to answer your question, the Denali clan."

I frowned as the familiar name buzzed around my head. And then it hit me. "The one with… Tanya?"

"Yup," affirmed Alice. "So when are they coming? I… oh…" She trailed off into silence, her golden eyes flicking over to settle on Edward, who then gave the slightest of nods.

I ignored this silent exchange, however, for an uncomfortable wave of anxiety was flowing through my system. "Carlisle, um," –I cleared my throat– "how long are they planning to stay?" I realized that the question was uncalled for, since it was, after all, none of my business to ask about their family matters, but I was too worried about the idea of _Tanya_ visiting.

Carlisle looked at me intently, as if understanding my dilemma. "Well, they _are _still deciding whether they should come or not, but they mentioned maybe a few weeks or so."

I nodded, my anxiety slightly, and just slightly, abating.

And then Edward spoke my actual feelings.

"You're not… jealous, are you, Bella?"

I glanced at him. "No," I said a little too quickly.

His angelic face broke out into a deeply amused grin, which only made _me_ scowl. "You know how much I love you, Bella," he murmured.

"Then why are you smiling?" I demanded. "You should be serious when you say you love me."

"I'm smiling because you look so cute when you're flustered."

I blushed at once. "Don't think that makes me feel any better," I squeaked.

He laughed. "I love _you_, and only you. Besides, I told you I prefer brunettes."

"But she's pretty," I scoffed. "She's a vampire for crying out loud! And she might still harbor feelings for you, so she might use her prettiness to get your attention!"

"Wow," breathed Emmett, grinning widely, "we finally get to witness Bella being jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" I insisted.

"No use denying it," chirped Alice.

Annoyance replaced my anxiety. "I'm _not_! And to prove it you, I'm going to ask you to describe the different ways Tanya hit on Edward."

"Oh Bella…" sighed Edward, but I raised a hand to shush him.

"I don't think you can handle it, Bella," commented Rosalie in a superior tone.

"If I couldn't handle it, I wouldn't have asked! Now tell me how she hit on Edward!"

The four younger Cullens exchanged amused looks.

"Wait, wait…" spoke up Edward, and he gathered some of our money and placed them in the bank. "Let's finish our turn first. Bella, I chose the log cabin. Eighty thousand dollars only. Now spin, please."

"Fine," I said coolly, twisting the game wheel, which halted at '1'. "Pay day. OH, PAY DAY!" In a moment of glee I grabbed a hundred thousand dollars from the bank.

"And pay up," said Jasper, holding out a hand. "You bought my art."

"No difference!" I told him cheerfully, giving him a ten-thousand-dollar note.

Emmett let out a loud humph. "Now I'm depressed again, so I will tell you one of the most extravagant ways Tanya hit on Edward."

I made the gesture of rolling up my sleeves. "Bring it on, big guy."

He smirked. "She went up to him," he whispered in a dramatically slow voice, "wearing nothing but a towel."

Everything –my insides, the world around me– shattered into a million pieces. "WHAT?" I shrieked.

"Fresh from the shower," added Rosalie smugly.

My jaw couldn't have dropped any lower. "THAT SLU-!" I clamped my mouth shut, suddenly wary of Carlisle's presence. "Sorry…" I muttered. "I'm calm. Continue."

"It was a very small towel…" remarked Alice.

"And very thin," said Emmett. Rosalie threw him a frown, and he shrugged. "Not that I noticed…"

I took a deep breath. "Then what did she do?"

"She didn't interest me, that's what," said Edward. "Bella, you're being ridiculous… I love _you–_"

"Shhh!" I hissed. "What did she say, did she say anything?"

Edward pursed his lips together, obviously miffed.

"Well," said Alice thoughtfully, "she was actually very subtle, making small talk about this and that, _but_ you should know she's a natural charmer."

"She was in that towel for most of the afternoon," said Rosalie casually. "She only changed when she was completely dry."

"If only vampires can get frost-bite…" I muttered under my breath.

Emmett let out an audible snicker. "She was _all_ over Edward, Bella," he said brightly.

I scowled at him. "Like how?"

He grinned, and then turned to Jasper, who regarded him with a suspicious frown. "Oh, Edward," cooed Emmett in an exaggeratedly high-pitched voice, "are you alright? You're looking a bit paler than usual. Is there anything I can do?" Then, much to my horror and disgust, he arched his back in a manner that blatantly revealed the contours of his chest. "Just tell me," he murmured, pressing his arms tightly against his body, "and I'll do it."

"You are so degrading her, Emmett," remarked Alice with a laugh, as Jasper dragged his chair nearer to hers. "She was nothing like that!"

Emmett frowned. "You're right. She was a lot worse… her legs were all, like this…" He shifted on his chair as he attempted to cross his legs.

"Shame on you, Emmett," commented Carlisle in a disapproving tone. "Tanya's a lovely girl with good morals."

"Except when it comes to monkey-scared Edward," said Rosalie with a tight smile.

"I'm not going to comment on that remark," hissed Edward through clenched teeth.

I rubbed my hands together. "Okay, fine, what else did she do?"

"Bella, you don't have to prove to me anything," said Edward firmly.

"Shut up, Ed, this is fun," declared Emmett, waving a dismissive hand. "So, alright, that was one thing she did. Another thing she did was… eh…"

"Play with her hair every waking moment," said Alice. "Twirling and twirling it like there was no tomorrow. Really, I felt like telling her to get a curling iron."

"Oh, I remember that…" moaned Jasper, raking a hand through his own hair.

"What's the color of her hair again?" I asked curiously. "Oh yeah, you said you prefer brunettes, so she's–"

"Strawberry blonde," muttered Edward.

I whipped around to gape at him, suddenly feeling something bite my heart. I hardly noticed the sudden silence that met the air. "You _do_ like her!" I exclaimed.

"He shouldn't have answered…" muttered Jasper.

Emmett nodded in mock seriousness. "Rule number one, Edward: never recall a feature of an ex-girlfriend when in the presence of the current girlfriend. I should know."

Edward exhaled slowly. "Bella," he said calmly, taking my hands in his, "I don't like her, and I never did. I love you, and only you, and I always will."

"How can I be so sure that you won't be tempted by her?" I snapped.

All of a sudden I was no longer in my chair; a blur of colors swept past my eyes, and then, before I knew it, I was standing in Edward's room on the first floor.

"Bella," he said again, and I blinked to orient myself, "you're being ridiculous. She will _never_ tempt me. Besides, we're not even sure she's coming."

I pouted. "Was it that necessary to bring me all the way up here?" I muttered irritably. "And she's still pretty…"

"You've never even met her!" he said with a slight laugh. "Come on, stop being so childish, my love."

"Your love?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "Prove it."

He sighed. "You're just trying to get me to kiss you, aren't you?"

I shrugged in an indifferent manner. "Well, if you really love me…"

Something cold yet soft pressed against my lips then, silencing me. After a second, however, the sensation was gone.

"That's it?" I exclaimed at the grinning Edward. "That's how much you love me?"

"No, how much I love you is suggested by the herculean control I have over myself to resist taking you right now."

Before I could register his words –despite the minuteness of the kiss, it had still left me slightly giddy in the head– I was swept off my feet once again, and suddenly I found myself in my seat around the dining table on the ground floor.

"Really, Edward," remarked Emmett, "if you were going to do just that to her, you didn't have to go all the way upstairs _and _block out our thoughts."

"I needed her to see reason," replied Edward calmly. "Without your interference."

"So you're okay now, Bella?" asked Alice smilingly.

I stared at her in momentary shock. "Y-yeah, I am."

"Good, my turn!" she cried, leaning forward and twisting the game wheel. I watched it spin lazily for a brief moment, until something occurred to me that made me pause.

"Wait… isn't it Rosalie's turn?" I asked, scratching my head, which was beginning to hurt just a bit – so many things were happening at the same time: as was always the case with this family.

"We finished our turns while you were gone, dear," said Esme kindly.

"You did?" I gasped incredulously. _Weren't we upstairs for like a second? _I wondered in confusion. _It was so… fleeting… maybe we didn't go upstairs…?_

"If we played this game at _our _normal speed, we would've finished by now," said Rosalie matter-of-factly.

I gaped at her. "So… all this time you were playing slowly for _my _sake?"

"Nah, just to kill the night more," remarked Emmett with a toothy grin. I automatically glanced at the clock.

11:16 p.m.

I frowned. "Well… if that's the case… so what did we miss?'

"Nothing big," answered Alice. "Rosalie got her salary, Carlisle and Esme bought a luxury cruise online via my help, thus earning myself a hefty twenty-five thousand dollars… and now…" She picked up her yellow car and made it hop along the path (the wheel had stopped on '4'), but then her hand paused in midair, and her face fell dramatically. "Now I have to attend a Hollywood movie premiere!"

"Isn't that exciting?" I asked curiously.

"Not if you have to pay five thousand dollars!" she whined.

"And to the entertainer," said Edward smugly, glancing at the game board. "See how our career is rising, my love?" He held out a hand, and Alice slammed a five-thousand-dollar note onto his palm with a loud humph.

I smirked at him. "I'm pretty sure it's all by your doing. Dazzling our way to greatness. You know, I bet the media don't even _know_ me! I bet this movie is all you, probably called something like, 'Inhuman Beauty', starring you as the main protagonist, and me as an unimportant character who appears for like five seconds!"

"Now I would never star in a movie like that," he remarked, looking a bit hurt. "I want you to be at my side constantly. It's a movie where you're very important, more than anything." He stroked my chin, making me giggle.

"Hey," spoke up Emmett, "what if this movie premiere thing coincides with the Denali clan's visit? Who gets to go? I CALL SHOTGUN!"

"I CALL IT!" shrieked Alice. "I _HAVE _to attend this ritzy event!"

"Why don't we just bring them along?" suggested Esme, her eyes wide with innocence that was genuine or not, I couldn't tell.

"Then for sure the media will notice me then," I grumbled, "as the ugly girl who tails the magnificent Edward Cullen who could choose to be with gorgeous Tanya. Wow, that would be a hot movie…"

"Stop demeaning yourself, Bella," said Carlisle sternly. "Beauty is only skin-deep, even for us. You are beautiful inside and out."

I smiled at him. "Thanks…"

"Sure sounded like you were jealous to me, Bella," remarked Emmett in amusement, twisting the game wheel.

"Fine, I am," I retorted, folding my arms defensively. "But you know what? I'm not worried, because I trust Edward."

The exquisite god that was my boyfriend shot me a warm smile.

"Still," said Emmett thoughtfully, moving his green car, "I can't help but wonder how it will be like if Tanya was his mistress. Oh, baby girl… HA!" He pointed a triumphant finger at Alice, who rolled her eyes, and grabbed a pink peg.

Despite myself, I found myself wondering, too. "Hmm… for sure I'd never find out. I mean, vampires are so discreet… I think I'd be more okay with it if I were a vampire, too."

"Ooh, that would be an interesting showdown," commented Alice excitedly.

"Girl on girl?" exclaimed Emmett. "AWESOME!"

"Edward might end up in pieces," spoke up Jasper with a grin.

"I refuse to entertain the thought," said Edward firmly, glaring at Jasper. "I will be forever loyal to Bella."

"What if they were cheating each other and they didn't know it?" suggested Rosalie, ignoring Edward. "Edward's seeing Tanya, and Bella's seeing that Mike."

"No way!" I gasped. "Why _Mike_?"

"Or would you prefer Jacob Black?" said Rosalie, lifting a single eyebrow.

I opened my mouth, then shut it again. This was touching dangerous territory. I glanced at Edward, who was looking rather livid.

"I refuse to entertain the thought, too," I said hastily, waving a hand in Jasper's direction. "Your turn."

**A/N**: Now I must beg you for suggestions, since my head is so going through a drought right now (which is why this chapter is shorter than usual)! So please give me any ideas, ANY, if you want this story to go on with actual humor! (Sniffs) Wouldn't it be nice to have a comedian whenever you need one… or a vending machine that chokes out random lines!! Ooh…

By the way, if you want to see the Aurea, I posted a link to a picture of it on my profile page, so check it out! It shows how the colors fly off the screen…


	8. Lost Wallets and Bets

**A/N**: I am SO SORRY for the delay! It's explainable: in the period between my last update and this update, I'd turned 18, crossed seas, got medically examined, started college and read about more than a thousand words for about four different subjects, so you can imagine the little time I had to write my stories. Sigh. Anyway, thank you all so much for the suggestions and reviews! The suggestions especially, but please forgive me if I don't use some because it's really hard welding everything into the story without pushing things overboard. Anyway, watch your dreams tonight, you'll be getting a special delivery from me: a lifetime's supply of chocolate roses! Wee… so anyway, I was wondering about the setting of the story, and I was thinking that it could be during some idle moment after _Eclipse_, I don't know, really. Ah well, I'll leave it to your imagination! OH YES, WHICH REMINDS ME… I saw Stephenie Meyer's _The Host_ at one of my favorite bookstores, and I nearly shrieked! Ha, that is _so_ on my list of must-haves! Now here's:

Chapter Eight- Lost Wallets and Bets

11:18 p.m.

Jasper smiled slightly, leaning forward to give the game wheel a twist. "Hey Bella, think you can bring this game if ever the Denali clan does come to visit?" he asked, as the spinner halted at '10'. "How much fun would _that _be?"

"That _would_ be interesting…" I said slowly, grateful of the fact that no one –particularly Edward– could hear my thoughts; that I would only bring the game for the sole sake of distracting Tanya from Edward.

"You're speeding," spoke up Carlisle suddenly. "You're fined ten thousand dollars."

Jasper frowned in confusion. "What?"

"We're police officers, remember, dear?" said Esme, tilting her head to one side. "Spin a '10' and pay."

"Oh, yeah…" Jasper mumbled, taking a ten-thousand-dollar note and handing it to her.

I peered at the game board. "You have to pay another fifteen thousand bucks, too."

"_For what_?" gasped Jasper.

"Ehm… either because a tree falls on your house, or your car gets stolen. Pick one."

Emmett sucked in a breath. "Ooh, that ain't exactly a win or lose situation."

"If I buy insurance, do I have to pay the fifteen thousand?" asked Jasper.

I nodded. "Yep, but think of it this way: you won't have to pay for any more damages."

"Yeah, but do I buy for the house or for the car…"

"Car insurance is ten thousand, and the house depends on what you have. Check your card."

"It's also ten thousand," he muttered after giving his House card a quick glance. "Fine. Since I have enough money at the moment, I'll get both insurances. Oh, but I'm paying for the car damages." He swiftly counted his money, and handed me thirty-five thousand dollars.

"My man!" declared Alice proudly.

"Who now only has ten thousand bucks," he grumbled.

"Ah, you'll win it back soon enough," she said with a wink.

"Edward, you spin," I said, motioning to the game wheel with my chin. Before he could do so, however, I felt my stomach tremble.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella!" said Esme, getting up from her chair. "You didn't have dinner, did you?"

"Actually I did…" I shot a look at the clock – dinner had been four hours ago, I realized. "But an early one," I admitted.

At once Esme disappeared, reappearing seconds later with a large dish of some red food. "Here, Bella," she said, placing the dish in front of me, "these are the last of the cookies I baked yesterday for Carlisle to give to his colleague for his birthday, and I forgot about them until now. I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate!"

"It's okay, Esme!" I reassured her with a grin. "Thanks." I examined the dish: it was indeed filled with cookies – which were molded into the perfect likeness of apples, coated with red and green icing (green for the leaf that claimed the top of each apple), and even sugar to denote highlights on the curved sides. "These are so adorable!" I exclaimed, picking up of them.

"Aren't they?" said Edward, taking one to look at it, and then placing it back. "I'd try them, but I surely doubt I'd taste them."

I bit into the cookie eagerly. The sweet flavor of apple mingled with that of macadamia nut burst into my mouth; it was absolutely delicious –and I was never one for flavored cookies– and I told Esme so.

"Thank you, Bella," she said smilingly, taking her place at Carlisle's side again. "I thought I'd try baking them; it seemed like fun. And I must admit, it was a shame I couldn't taste them…"

"Oh yes," spoke up Carlisle, "Paul asked me today to ask _you _if you would be so kind as give him the recipe. His family loves them."

Esme beamed. "How sweet, I'd love to!"

I finished off the cookie, and proceeded to take another one. "Can you give me the recipe, too? Ooh, but… I'll probably butcher it, burning the cookies…"

"I'm sure you won't, Bella," said Esme kindly. "But if you want, I'll make you more."

"Thanks," I said again, grinning at her, "but you don't have to do that."

"Oh, Bella, did you know," said Rosalie softly, resting her chin on her hand, "there was a time the three boys took a baking class?"

I froze with the cookie midway into my mouth. "_Really_?" I gasped.

"That was a long time ago!" said Emmett defensively.

"It was a particularly uneventful summer," hissed Edward, leaning forward and swiftly twisting the spinner.

"And they topped the class!" squealed Alice happily.

I snickered. "No way… so what, you guys actually _baked _stuff, like cakes and cookies?"

"That's what the beginners baked," spoke up Jasper, eyeing me rather warily, "we baked international pastries like Brazilian meat empanadas, Chinese baked buns…"

"Filipino puto pao," muttered Edward, "Italian tiramisu…"

"And a bunch of others I'd rather forget," said Emmett loudly, shaking his head. "Ed, play the game."

"I already did," retorted Edward, frowning.

I examined the board, and sure enough, we were on the space…

'Baby boy'.

And there was a blue peg seated behind me in our car. I suddenly felt my throat run dry.

"Wow, children…" I whispered hoarsely, clutching my shirt. "I don't think I'm ready for this." And I meant it; if I wasn't prepared for marriage, how in the world could I handle _children_?

"I'm certain you'll make a wonderful mother," said Esme firmly.

"I'm an aunt!" cried Alice ecstatically. "What are you going name him, Bella?"

I looked at her, startled, and then said the first thing that came to mind: "Uh… Jacob?"

"We are _not_ naming our son after that dog," snapped Edward suddenly.

At once I felt angry. "Why not? He's my best friend! He's done a lot for me!"

"Like almost get you killed?"

"Hey, that was entirely _my _fault, okay, don't go blaming him!"

"Ah, just let her name the kid Jacob, Edward," said Emmett, waving a hand carelessly. "It's gonna grow up to be a bona fide vampire anyway."

"That's entirely beside the point," seethed Edward.

"Then what _is _the point?" I demanded, crossing my arms.

Edward inhaled an unnecessary breath. "I don't want you to hurt every time you see our son."

I opened my mouth to snap back, but then I suddenly realized that I had nothing to say. As much as I hated to admit it, Edward had a point. But then again… "At least I'll be reminded of him. I'd rather be reminded and be hurt, than not think about him at all."

Edward's frown softened. "All right, my love," he whispered, and planted a cold kiss on my forehead.

"You do know this is just a game, right?" spoke up Alice.

Rosalie let out a loud snort. "As if _you're _not taking it seriously," she scoffed, flicking the game wheel, which stopped on '5'.

Alice grinned impishly. "Ah yes…"

"Bella, give me a LIFE tile," ordered Rosalie, holding out a slim hand, "I'm voting."

11:23 p.m.

"Come on, Alice," moaned Emmett, as I handed a LIFE tile over to Rosalie, "tell us who wins the game!"

Her grin widened. "I don't know! Not seeing, so not telling."

"No, you _do_ know," said Edward, narrowing his eyes. "I can see it on your face."

"I really don't know!" she insisted with a laugh. "I just find it funny that you're all at my mercy, that's all."

"Fine," grumbled Emmett, "since you're not going to say anything, I'm gonna bet. AH!" He pointed a finger at Carlisle, who was proceeding to spin the game wheel. "I bet Carlisle and Esme are gonna win!"

"How utterly selfless of you, Emmett," commented Jasper with a smirk as the wheel stopped on '6'.

Emmett frowned, watching Esme move hers and Carlisle's orange car. "What's that mean?"

"Oh, just that you're betting on them, and not on yourself, which is what I'd thought you do."

"What's so selfless about that?" asked Alice. "If he wins the bet, he'd be feeling pretty big in the head."

"I _am _gonna win!" exclaimed Emmett. "See, they just won a photography contest!"

"That's a twisted paradox," remarked Rosalie dryly, "what if he loses? There goes all his pride and wages down the drain in one fell swoop."

Emmett jerked a thump up. "Way to be supportive, hon," he said sarcastically.

"I'm willing to make that happen," I spoke up, grinning. "Edward and I have the most money at the moment. So I bet _we're _going to win. And if I win, Emmett, you're going to be mine and Edward's personal slave for a whole month."

"I second that motion," said Edward with a sly smile.

Emmett pinched his chin thoughtfully. "Fine. But If _I_ win… ah, if I win, you're going to be my slave for _two_ months. Just you, Bella." He sat back with a triumphant grin.

"I absolutely object," snapped Edward.

"Wait, Edward," I said, touching his arm, "let's hear his terms and conditions."

A wicked glint shone in Emmett's eyes, but I stared right at them, determined to defy them. "_Well_," said Emmett, "like I said, you'll be my personal slave, doing whatever I tell you do, like, say, call me Your Most Potent Highness."

"That sounds _so _wrong," groaned Jasper. I kept a straight face, but inwardly I cringed. It _did _sound wrong. In about ten different ways. However, all those ways seemed to pass right over Emmett's head, for he remained grinning like an idiot. Or perhaps he _had _thought of those ways, which would explain his grin more, and which would definitely make this bet the worst one I had ever gotten myself into.

"Bella…" said Edward warningly.

I ignored him. "So, that's it," I said coolly. "I just do what you tell me to do." I happened to glance at Rosalie then; she was glaring hard and piercing daggers at her husband.

"Same for me, if _you_ win," said Emmett matter-of-factly, looking at me in a way that was so obviously an attempt to avoid eye contact with Rosalie.

"Oh, I'll make you do _so _much more," hissed Edward. "Just for putting Bella in this situation."

Emmett's eyes narrowed. "And you'll make me do what, exactly?"

"This is beginning to sound a like a porn movie," commented Alice in disgust.

Edward cast a dirty look at her, then snapped his focus back to Emmett. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"I don't think so," snarled Emmett, "because _I'm _going to win this bet."

"I'm not letting you anywhere _near _Bella," spat Edward.

"Then you'll have to substitute for her, Edward," spoke up Rosalie with a wicked smile.

His glare turned to her. "What?"

"Come again?" asked Emmett in disbelief.

Rosalie shrugged. "Well, _someone _has to make sure the loser of this bet does what is demanded of them. As a witness, it's only suitable if I do it."

"Ooh," sang Alice, clasping her hands together, "I'd like to be in on that!"

"This bet just got more interesting," declared Carlisle with a deep chuckle.

"Wait, wait, wait," called out Emmett, waving a hand. "Let me get this straight. If I win, Edward becomes my slave because he doesn't want Bella to do it, but either way you guys make sure that one of them becomes my slave?"

"Or that you become _their _slave," said Alice cheerfully.

"And just how do you plan to do that?" asked Edward testily.

"What did we do during the whole game?" drawled Rosalie. "Revealed secrets, yes? Now those secrets are quite liable to be spread…"

"We know yours, too," barked Edward.

Rosalie licked her bottom lip in a sensuously slow manner. "Ah, but you wouldn't spread them knowing that we could easily hurt Bella by spilling her own secrets. You know how gossip travels through the school. And you know how public humiliation is a common interest among the student body."

Edward's face twisted into one of pure fury, so absolute that even I shrank away from him. "You wouldn't," he growled.

"They don't even know my secrets," I said hastily, leaping forward and grabbing his arm in an attempt to calm him.

"Oh we don't?" cooed Alice, using a single finger to spin the game wheel.

I stared at her in rising terror. "Do you?" I asked weakly.

"We could easily make our own," said Rosalie coolly, watching the wheel stop on '3'. "Collect a stock, Alice."

"Now which number should I choose…?" murmured Alice thoughtfully, scratching her chin. "What does a stock card do again?"

"Hang on, hang on!" I cried, releasing Edward with more force than intended. "What if I withdraw the bet?"

"Awww… killjoy!" moaned Emmett. "Come on, Bella, get wild once in a while."

I shot him a disgusted look. "Fine, I'll do it, you know why? Because I'm gonna win! Oho, I _will_ win!"

"If we had just played Scrabble or something…" muttered Jasper, frowning.

"Bet settled, case closed," said Rosalie smugly, "court adjourned. Alice, you and I have some brainstorming to do." Alice nodded eagerly.

"Don't get too cocky, Swan," said Emmett with a grin, as he spun the wheel hard. "The game's far from over. Ah, nine… let's see…" He moved his green car quickly along the path, until he stopped on a space that said: 'Return lost wallet. LIFE'.

"Didn't think you'd be the type to return a lost wallet, Em," remarked Alice amusedly, as Emmett grabbed a LIFE tile.

"He wouldn't be the type to do _anything_ that charitable," said Edward coldly.

Emmett slapped a hand on his chest, his face twisting in mock hurt. "Hey now, I'm a nice guy. What, you still uptight about the whole bet? Lighten up, bro, it was your girlfriend's idea in the first place."

"Speaking of girlfriends…" said Rosalie softly, and at once I stiffened at her tone, "you said something earlier that bothered me."

"I must've been blabbing," said Emmett hastily, waving a hand in a dismissive manner.

"Ooh, what'd he say?" demanded Alice eagerly.

Edward let out a low sound, and then he nodded. "I was wondering about that myself, actually."

"Erm… about what?" asked Emmett timidly.

"Rule number one," said Rosalie, absently twirling a lock of hair around a finger. "'Never recall a feature of an ex-girlfriend when in the presence of the current girlfriend'. And you should know? And should you know how, dear?"

I winced on Emmett's behalf. Rosalie was as envy-prone as Hera herself, if not more so. I looked at Emmett; his expression was frozen, and I felt a rush of sympathy for him.

And then, much to my surprise, he burst into laughter.

"AH, THANK –HAHA– GOD!" he choked between laughs, banging his large fist on the table. "Is that… HA… all?"

"What do you mean, 'is that all'?" demanded Rosalie furiously. "How is it funny when your _wife_ is thinking about leaving you? Tell me, Emmett, when did you mention something of an ex-girlfriend to me? Tell me – STOP LAUGHING!"

Emmett did not stop; his laughter did, however, decrease in volume, for it then turned into that of silent, uncontrollable. His shoulders shook like mini volcanoes.

Rosalie let out a loud, frustrated groan, and only then did Emmett's laughter subside. Somewhat.

"I'm s-sorry…" he spluttered, clutching his stomach, "it's just that I thought I said something way worse than that, like, I don't know, 'I slept with someone else', WHICH did not happen, by the way! Oh God… haha… okay, um, do you remember that waitress in New Orleans… the one who looked like a clown with all that makeup?"

Rosalie's eyes narrowed, and then widened as if in sudden realization. "Oh… _that_ time… it completely slipped from my mind… I'm sorry, darling."

"Nah, it's okay," said Emmett cheerfully.

I stared at the pair in confusion. "So… are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing big," replied Emmett with a shrug. "We just played a little trick on her, that's all, because she was huma-ahhhh…" He trailed off into silence, but not before I understood what he had said.

"Because she was _what_?" I demanded.

"Nothing, I said she was aahhh…" answered Emmett uncertainly. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Because she was _human_?" I snapped. "Gee, Emmett, I didn't you'd be the type to make fun of humans either!"

"Calm down, Bella," urged Carlisle. "Let them explain…" He glanced sharply at the two. "You _will _explain?"

"Of course!" said Emmett hastily. "Um, listen Bella, this was way, way, WAY before, okay? Rosalie and I had a habit of looking down on humans – _but we don't anymore, all right_? Anyway, when we were in a bar at New Orleans, we came across this waitress who, how do you say, took a liking to me…"

_Naturally_, I thought darkly. "And then?"

"Well, she was annoying, to say the least," spoke up Rosalie, tossing her head to one side, "she hovered around him like a fly attracted to garbage."

"Thank you for the kind comparison, honey," said Emmett sarcastically.

"My pleasure. So I got an idea, and told Emmett that we should publicly humiliate her. But he would have to court her first."

"Criminal masterminds in the making," commented Jasper with a smile.

"To make the story short," continued Rosalie, ignoring her brother's remark, "he courted her for a while, and then made a scene in the middle of the town square where he compared her to me. The scene ended with a dramatic kiss between husband and wife."

"You guys are so mean!" I declared.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I paid for it," said Emmett. "After that she hunted me with a pitchfork for a month… I felt like a turkey to be roasted for Thanksgiving…" He shuddered.

"Well, serves you right, dear," said Esme decisively.

"So, are we okay, Bella?" asked Emmett. "Are we still friends?"

"Of course we are, silly," I assured him. "I mean, that _was_ a long time ago…"

"In a galaxy far, far away."

**A/N**: Ugh, I know, it's terrible. I'm sorry, my mind's in total mush at the moment, with all the stuff I have to do for school. Sigh.

Anyway, I went through the concepts of the game again, and I realized, after rereading this story about a hundred times (I'm very neurotic), I made major miscalculations on the money each of them have… which, of course, upset me (since I'm very neurotic!). Sigh… so please don't rebuke me! You know what, don't let the technicalities get to you, just read and go with the flow. Let me worry about it… (Pulls hair in frustration). Sigh and sigh again…

Going to another anyway, thank you all so much for the suggestions and reviews!! Any more would be ecstatically appreciated! As for the poll, I'll only be posting the results when everybody in the game is more or less halfway; but I can tell you that, so far, our beloved main couple is in the lead! Haha! Thanks again! Mwah!


	9. Vending Machines and Unexpected Visits

**A/N**: I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY! Seriously, I was really, REALLY busy with schoolwork! Like readings, papers and other projects literally stacked in piles. Like aargh. But the semester's over now, so YEY!! Update galore!

So okay, during its lag period (sorry!), this story was nominated before for Best Fluffy Fic, and guess what, it was nominated again on another fan site in _**THREE CATEGORIES**_! It was nominated for Best Original Plot, Best Comedy, and Best Work-in-Progress! I didn't make it to the finals, though, but still, I'M SO HAPPY!

Moving on to the story now! Again, I'm so, so, SO sorry for the delay, and thank you so much for your patience! So here's:

Chapter Nine- Vending Machines and Unexpected Visits

11:32 p.m.

"My turn," said Jasper, twisting the game wheel slowly, which stopped on '4'. He then moved his white car four spaces forward to…

"BABY BOY!" shrieked Alice. "ANOTHER ONE!"

"_Someone's_ been busy," commented Emmett with a smirk, and everyone save for Jasper and Alice burst into agreeable snickers.

Jasper grabbed a blue peg and, waving it around, exclaimed: "But that's the last one; I don't have any more space in my car!"

"You know, that actually happened to Angela in one game," I spoke up in amusement. "She had so much children that she had to place the pegs on top of and between each other."

"She must've been extremely tired," remarked Esme smilingly. "Taking care of so many!"

I grinned. "Do you ever get tired taking care of _these _children?" I gestured to the four youngest vampires.

"_Excuse_ me," said Rosalie icily, "I resent that remark. I am no _child._"

"Well, to me you are _all_ my children!" declared Esme lovingly. "Including you, Bella," she added with a subtle tilt of her head, "and to answer your question, oh, they _are _quite a handful sometimes… there are occasions when I have to remind them about certain rules."

"Like what?" demanded Alice and Edward in unison.

Esme's smile widened, and she glanced at Carlisle, who grinned back.

"Like be careful when using your strength," he said. "Such as that time when we were in Bucharest and I tore down a wall, remember?"

Alice let out a long _pfft _sound. "It's _Emmett _who needs to be always reminded about that. Remember the vending machine incident?"

"What vending machine incident?" I asked, drumming my fingers on the table surface eagerly.

"We attended a school convention years ago," began Edward, "and it was held on the top floor of a very high building. During an intermission Emmett got hungry, and there were these vending machines nearby, so he dragged us all to get food. Now there was this particular brand of chips he wanted, but the vending machine refused to work. So…"

"He got frustrated and chucked the machine _riiight_ out the window!" finished Alice with a dramatic flourish. I automatically clamped a hand over my mouth in shock.

"For all the world to see," added Rosalie with a slight smirk.

I gaped at Emmett. "Oh my gosh, really? So what happened?"

"I got my chips!" he answered happily.

"With a price," said Carlisle. "We had to leave as fast as we could, of course."

"But… was anybody hurt?" I demanded.

"Only the company who had to pay for damages," said Edward matter-of-factly.

"It was a good thing none of it was caught on video," said Esme, shrugging her shoulders delicately.

"It would've made a nice episode on _Ripley's Believe it or Not_," remarked Emmett with a snicker.

"Or _America's Wildest Videos_," I said with a smile. "So… whose turn is it? Oh yeah, ours… Edward, you be the one to spin."

Edward placed a hand delicately upon his chest, and bowed his head slightly. "Your wish is my command, my love," he murmured, gazing at me playfully. He then spun the game wheel, which came to stop at '7'. I merrily picked up our car, and began to move it along the spaces. I stopped dead, however.

"Looks like Jasper's not the only one who's been working overtime," remarked Rosalie with a single raised eyebrow.

I felt my face grow hot. "Now we have a baby girl," I said in a sarcastically cheerful voice.

"Let's name her Tanya!" exclaimed Alice. I automatically looked at her in slight disbelief, and she shrugged. "Just a suggestion."

"Hey, Bella," murmured Edward, taking a pink peg and LIFE tile, "there're only two of these tiles left, not counting this one… what happens when they're gone?"

"Oh, we start taking LIFE tiles from each other," I answered, grateful for the diversion from the topic of children.

"I only have _one_ LIFE tile!" declared Alice.

"Really?" said Emmett with a chortle. "How _sad_."

11:35 p.m.

"What about these four tiles?" asked Jasper, pointing at the small stack I had placed next to the miniature house labeled Millionaire Estates at the centre of the game board.

"You can't touch those. You only get them if you decide to live there at the end of the game."

"Oh, okay…"

"My turn," said Rosalie tonelessly, spinning the game wheel, which barely stopped before she already moved her car. "Huh, looks like the one LIFE tile goes to me for learning CPR." She deftly slid a tile towards her.

"And the competition's on for the last one…" said Emmett smugly, glancing at the single tile, and then at Alice's lone one. She inhaled sharply and slammed a hand upon it.

"From whom do we take LIFE tiles then? Anyone?" asked Esme with a slight pout.

I nodded. "Yup, anyone. What exactly does CPR stand for? I know it, but I can't remember."

"Cardiopulmonary resuscitation," replied Carlisle smilingly, twisting the wheel.

"Have you ever performed it on anyone?" I asked, immediately intrigued.

He gave a deep chuckle. "Only twice, if I'm not mistaken."

I frowned. "Wait… I thought vampires don't have oxygen in their bodies?"

"We don't," he said simply, "but we _can_ have. For us, air is just a substance that passes in and out of our bodies as we wish it to. So I just inhale the right amount needed for a proper CPR procedure."

The image of a balloon-shaped Carlisle suddenly popped into my head, and I giggled to myself. "So, before you performed it, you willingly agreed to do it?"

Carlisle shrugged. "Well, I did make up a number of excuses at first, whatever was viable… the air I breathe out _is_ mixed with a bit of venom, after all…"

I smirked. "_Everything _you say sounds viable, Carlisle. Seriously, I can never tell when you're lying or not. I can't tell with Edward either."

"I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but centuries of practice help," remarked Edward with a teasing grin.

An interesting idea then came to mind. "So has anyone ever fallen for each other's lies? I mean, were any of you deceived by each other?"

"In the family?" Carlisle pinched his chin thoughtfully.

"She doesn't look it, but Rosalie's the most gullible of us all," spoke up Alice with a short laugh. "She got tricked _so _many times."

Rosalie immediately opened her mouth to snap back when Jasper jerked a finger at her. "You _are _gullible, Rose, don't try to deny it!" he declared.

"I am n–!" she began, before Edward cut her off.

"Yes, you ARE," he insisted laughingly. "Don't you remember last week's incident?"

"Oh yeah, you told me about that one," I said brightly, recalling the conversation I had had the Friday before with Edward. "Wait, um… you guys told her that you were going to play, what was it…"

"Hangman," supplied Emmett cheerfully.

"… Yeah, hangman, and then something like you guys told her that the category was movies, but all the while you were working on historical figures?"

The scowl on Rosalie's face deepened so much that it looked like it was actually carving through her marble skin. "They wasted so much of my precious intellect," she hissed.

Alice giggled. "You should've seen the look on her face when Jazz finally got the answer 'Catherine of Aragon'. She was all like '_what? They made her into a movie?_' Haha!"

"I'm not the only one who's been tricked in this family, _Alice_," spat Rosalie, stressing on her sister's name with oozing contempt. "Don't you remember Seattle?"

"What happened in Seattle?" I asked, intrigued.

"She was sleepless, that's what," snorted Emmett. Jasper broke into a grin, but bit his lip. I just rolled my eyes.

Alice's cheerful expression suddenly disappeared, her wide eyes narrowing into thin slits. "Of course I remember," she whispered. "Like you'd even let me forget it."

A corner of Rosalie's mouth tugged up into a smug half-smile. "Want me to tell you what happened, Bella?" she asked casually, without taking her gaze off Alice.

"The reason I asked," I said with a shrug.

Before Rosalie could say anything, Alice let out a low moan. "She told me that Seattle was having a mass clearance sale when it actually wasn't!" she cried, her expression suddenly resembling a child who had broken her favorite toy.

"Oh, it was much more complicated than that, Alice," remarked Emmett, patting her shoulder.

Alice shot him a dark look. "So she told me there was a clearance sale, and I got myself all ready to go, money in hand and everything. I was a bit hesitant at the start, though, 'cause I'm the one who's usually updated on all the sales in this part of America!"

"But you went…" I said slowly.

"Of course!" she retorted, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Do you know how major the discounts can get in Seattle? Like MAJOR! So anyway, I got Jazz to accompany me, and then we were off. When we arrived in Seattle…" her voice suddenly trailed off, and she glanced at Jasper with wide, puppy-dog eyes. "Can you tell it, honey?" she whimpered. "It's too painful for me to tell it."

I could see Jasper struggle against rolling his eyes. "Sure. So, uh… we arrived in Seattle… and everything was actually, as it turned out, not on sale, but… off the rack. Literally."

I cocked my head to one side. "Huh?"

"THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!" shrieked Alice, making me jump in my seat. "ALL, as in ALL the fashion stores had gone on some stupid strike because some stupid reporter made some stupid comments about couture! Can you imagine, all those beautiful clothes, bags, shoes… GONE? NOWHERE! NADA!"

I frowned. "Wow… why wasn't that on the news?"

"Oh it was," spoke up Rosalie, a wide grin on her face now, "Just not in Forks. I made sure of that."

I gaped at her. "What exactly did Alice do to you?"

Alice snorted loudly. "She was just pissed that I beat her in an online fashion game and won some of her possessions. Five times."

"You cheated!" snapped Rosalie.

"You shouldn't have wagered!" retaliated Alice.

Esme folded her arms across her torso, with a slight shake of her head as if to say '_not another argument'_. I threw her an agreeing grin.

"Hey, Esme, I just though of something," spoke up Emmett suddenly. "When Bella becomes a vampire, just imagine this… _three_," – he held up three thick fingers – "girls getting it down!"

The slight frown on Esme's face fell as her jaw dropped. "Three girls arguing to deal with?" she sighed. Then she suddenly turned to me with an apologetic wince. "Not that I mean I wouldn't love to have you in our family, Bella! You joining us would make me very happy!"

I laughed. "It's okay, Esme. Yeah, it would make me very happy, too." I snaked my arm around Edward's cool one.

"Oh, it's our turn, dear," said Carlisle smilingly, gesturing with his chin at the game wheel, which read '3'.

11:40 p.m.

"Taxes due," sang Esme in an exaggeratedly mournful tone, after she moved their orange car three spaces.

Carlisle swiftly collected a number of money notes, and then a look of grim shock flashed across his handsome face. "We don't have enough!" he declared.

I bit my lip. "Um… bank loan?"

With the air as if something unspeakably horrible had happened, Carlisle nodded, and held out a hand. "Just twenty thousand, please."

"Oh man, at this rate I'm gonna lose the bet!" complained Emmett, earning a glare from his father. "Um, yeah, sorry… my turn…" He cleared his throat, and twisted the game wheel.

As I picked out two bank loan notes (each blaring out '$20,000' in big, bold lettering), and handed them over to Carlisle, who pouted, a large yawn took control of my mouth.

"Bella, you need to sleep," said Edward at once, taking a hold of my wrist.

"No, I'm fine, I'm fine!" I insisted, shaking my head. "See, look…" I gestured towards the clock hanging in the room, "it's only gonna be twelve!"

He raised an eyebrow. "'_Only_'? Bella, look at you, your eyes are all puffy."

"What? No, they're not!" I turned my head this way and that to look for a mirror, but, finding none, grabbed Edward's shirt, tugged him close, and peered into his mercury eyes. "See, they're not puffy!" I declared, staring at the poor reflection of my eyes.

"Sure, 'cause that's the only way you can really see yourself," joked Emmett laughingly.

Edward chuckled and gently pulled himself away. "Bella, you're _tired_."

"Yes, get some sleep, Bella," urged Esme. "We can finish the game tomorrow."

"Or we can finish it tonight," chirped Alice.

I nodded. "Yeah, let's finish it tonight… I just need something to keep me awake, I don't know, coffee or something…"

"Sorry, dear," said Alice cheerfully, "but we insomniac vampires don't have any caffeine whatsoever in this house. Care for a few pinches instead?"

"How about a kiss?" Edward suggested, blinking playfully.

I immediately blushed. "Well, that could work," I whispered, leaning towards him.

"Ugh, get a room," spoke up Jasper in a voice that was both amused and disgusted.

Edward and I both ignored him, and continued on our slow journey to meet our lips. Just before they could touch, however, another yawn took over me, and a large one at that, one that literally rippled through my entire head.

"AH- ah- cr- ah- AP! Okay, I am in serious need of caffeine!"

Just then, Alice straightened, her face expressionless before, a split-second later, breaking into a broad smile. "Nah, you won't need it," she said, "with the surprise you're about to get. Besides, I know how you're like when caffeine gets to you. Not an attractive side of you at all."

I frowned. "What surprise?" I asked, at the same time glancing at Edward, who was suddenly cringing.

_Ding dong._

"Bella, would you like to answer the door?" asked Carlisle politely.

His question took me by surprise, so I just mumbled an 'okay' and got to my feet.

As I made my way towards the front door, a number of muffled sounds met my ears, which, as I came closer, turned out to be two voices conversing together in a way that almost sounded like arguing. I tugged the door open, and gasped.

"Hey Bella!" greeted Charlie, with a bashful grin on his face.

I was too busy staring at the person next to him to reply, though. Disbelief was stapled to every nerve in my brain.

"Jake?"

**A/N**: Yey, cliffhanger! You know when Bella says that there was a time Angela had too many children during one game? Haha, that actually happened to my sister… it was so funny! We event took a picture of it, the car stuffed with people… hehe… too bad I don't have it with me though…

Anyway, I'm sorry if this chapter isn't too funny, or that long either… I'm completely BRAIN-DRAINED! Ideas please, readers, with melted Cadbury chocolate on top!!

Well, hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner than this one! So I apologize for future reference… thanks so much again for everything, dear readers!! Mwah!!


	10. Chores and Orange Juice Pulp

**A/N**: Weehoo, ten chapters already! Coolies! AND GUESS WHAT, READERS? This story got nominated AGAIN! I'm so unbelievably happy! It was nominated for **Best Overall Story**! Wow, sniff, thank you so much!

Okay, now, regarding Emmett getting hungry for chips in the previous chapter…

Would you believe I FORGOT that vampires don't eat food?

I REALLY DID! I HONESTLY DID! I swear, and now that I think about it, I SHOULD'VE remembered! Aargh, my mind's more mushed up than I thought… sigh… well, hopefully I fix it up properly in this chapter (at least I make _Bella_ fix it… go Bella!). Anyway, thanks again for bringing that to my attention, dear readers! Thank you all so much, most of all, for sticking with this story despite my countless (eep!) mistakes! Hope you enjoy:

Chapter Ten- Chores and Orange Juice Pulp

11:44 p.m.

"Hey, Bells!" greeted Jacob with a little wave of his huge hand. I continued to gape at him, and then the plastic bag in Charlie's hand caught my attention – mainly because it screamed the label _Newton's Outfitters _in a bright green font.

"What're you guys doing here? And what's that?"

"Well," began Charlie, looking rather sheepish as he held up the bag, "Alice told me you were sleeping over, and that you would borrow her stuff, but I thought I'd take it upon myself to bring you yours so you wouldn't have to put her through so much trouble."

"Um… thanks, Dad…" I said uncertainly, taking the plastic bag. I took a peek at its contents, but all I saw was a big, dirty-white towel that I suspected to have come from some hidden corner in the very depths of my closet.

"I thought he needed company," spoke up Jacob; I looked at him, and saw that his eyes –not to mention the mischievous grin on his face– said otherwise. If anything, I knew he had come to stir up some trouble with Edward.

"Good evening, Charlie, Jacob," said a warm, silvery voice behind me that I at once recognized as Carlisle's. Sure enough, as I moved to one side and turned around, I saw him standing with hands outstretched in genuine welcome, and behind him, not at all to my surprise, were the rest of the family members, all of who, save for Edward and Rosalie, had hearty smiles of greeting on their faces.

"Um, good evening," replied Charlie, the flush on his face deepening. He was never really used to the formality of the Cullens. "Sorry for the intrusion…"

"Oh no, not at all," said Esme brightly. "We were just playing a very entertaining game Bella brought… please, join us!"

"Sure," said Jacob, much to my surprise then.

_What are you doing?_ I mouthed angrily. He only grinned wider.

"Uh, thanks, but we better not," said Charlie hastily, "I told Billy that Jacob'd be home right after we stopped by…"

"Not even for a few minutes?" said Carlisle, beckoning them inside. "You must be tired, have a drink before you go, at least."

"Oh, but Jake, won't Billy get angry?" I said as sweetly as I could without being too obviously transparent. At the same time I considered Carlisle's words. Did they really have drinks to serve? _Wait a minute_… a sudden thought occurred to me. Just a while ago Edward was describing how Emmett threw a vending machine out a window because he wanted chips… _chips?_ Vampires don't eat…

"Nah, he doesn't mind me staying up late… so long as I come home _some _time," Jacob answered, with a deep chuckle. I heard a low growl –most probably from Edward– behind me.

"Well, come in then!" said Esme, moving further inside. Charlie's eyes widened in obvious reluctance, but he complied anyway, jamming his hands into his jeans pockets and trudging into the house.

As the two of them were led into the living room, Edward took my arm and pulled me aside, with Alice hovering around us. "Did you know hewas coming?" he hissed. I didn't have to ask who 'he' was.

"No, I would've warned you!" I whispered. I glanced sideways at Alice. "A little heads up would've been nice, by the way."

She held up her hands in mock surrender. "Hey, I didn't see them until the last minute, I swear. I told you, I'd been keeping my mind shut for the game. I only saw them because I smelled Jacob from like a mile away…"

"He was in wolf form?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, which is why I wouldn't see anything even if I had wanted to. I kept trying, though, until everything became clear, and boom, there he was at the front door with Charlie."

Edward let out a grunt, eyeing Jacob's broad back warily. "So I guessed right… I smelled him, too."

I frowned, and then distinctly recalled seeing him cringe before the doorbell had sounded. "Well," I finally sighed, "I'll just have to talk to him later."

Edward turned and stared at me. "You say you know Jacob and yet you always seem to forget that he lacks basic communication skills. He can't be negotiated with, Bella, he never–"

"Stop it," I said with sudden anger. Edward pursed his pale lips into a tight line.

"Aw come on, I bet it won't be _that _bad," said Alice.

"You know, even from you, that doesn't sound very reassuring," I said grimly. Edward said nothing, and I immediately regretted snapping at him. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm just… I hate it when Jacob shows up without warning when I'm with you."

Edward was quiet for a second more, before he broke into a soft smile. "Yeah, I hate it, too." He leaned closer and pecked my cheeks. "Come on, let's go save your dad, he looks freaked."

I laughed, and then Esme called out:

"Alice, Edward, dears? Would you please bring the orange juice in from the kitchen?"

"Sure thing, Mom!" answered Alice cheerfully. I noticed then how all of the Cullens were acting more… gestural, in some ways. For instance, Emmett was now shifting his weight on either of his feet, something I had never seen him do; Carlisle was making grand, sweeping movements of his hand as he toured Charlie and Jacob around their living room; and Rosalie was blinking rather profusely. The family sure knew how to seem human.

"Oh, wait, quick question, before I forget," I said, bounding after Edward and Alice.

"Shoot," they replied in unison.

"A while ago you guys were telling me how Emmett threw a vending machine out of a building… why did he want–"

"Chips in the first place?" Edward finished, grinning.

"Yeah, you said he got hungry… but vampires don't eat food!"

"Oh, well, Emmett actually _was _hungry that time," spoke up Alice. "See, we all went hunting the day before, but he didn't feed much because he was in a hurry to watch a game or something, I don't know. Anyway, of course, Carlisle nagged him about it, telling him to hunt some more, but he wouldn't listen, so next day, his fault, he got hungry."

"And Carlisle wouldn't let him leave, either," continued Edward, as we reached their vast, decorated-for-window-display kitchen. "That's when he dragged us all to the vending machines nearby. He thought chips might help."

"And he was actually picky about the brand of chips he wanted," said Alice, her voice muffling as she dug her head into a small cupboard where I knew their glasses were kept.

I chuckled. "Did the chips work?"

"Nah, he never got to eating them, since he was too busy running away from Carlisle after he hurled the vending machine out the window. Ha!"

"Oh, but just so you know, Bella," said Edward, disappearing briefly into their too-large refrigerator and reappearing again with a sealed bottle of orange juice and a tray of ice cubes, "human food doesn't work. Like I told you before. Our bodies think it's just waste."

"Nothing like blood, eh?" I joked.

"Spoken like a true vampire-to-be!" chirped Alice.

11:55 p.m.

When we reentered the living room, Jacob regarded the orange juice with obvious amusement.

"Aren't you guys taking any for yourselves?" he said, as Alice smoothly handed him and Charlie a glass.

"Naw, we just ate," said Emmett, gesturing with his chin at the plate of apple cookies on the dining table, which I had completely forgotten about. Jacob smirked at the lie, while Charlie merely nodded.

"Yes, please, make yourselves at home," said Esme, retrieving the plate and placing it on the coffee table at the centre of the living area.

"This is, uh, quite a place you have here…"remarked Charlie, his head rotating as he surveyed the massive room.

"Hey, the Game of Life!" Jacob had made his way to the dining table, and was now examining the board with interest. I felt my annoyance flicker. Just a bit.

"Wanna play, Jacob?" Edward asked, and I whirled to face him in shock. His face was expressionless, but I could see his golden eyes twinkling with challenge.

"You wouldn't last five minutes against me in this game, Cullen," Jacob boasted. "I beat Bella without even breaking a sweat."

I stiffened. Just as I feared, Edward frowned, turning his gaze to me. "You played this with him before." It wasn't a question.

Before I could attempt to reply, Jasper came to the rescue. "Yeah, you can play, Jacob, but then, we don't have enough cars as it is."

"Two cars have already two players to them," said Alice smilingly.

Jacob shrugged, picking up Rosalie's red car. At once I saw her face contort into an enraged scowl. "I can wait until the game ends."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but we were going to finish this tomorrow," said Edward in a deadly tone. "Bella's tired."

Charlie softly choked on his orange juice, as if in to speak then, but Emmett beat him to it. "Didn't you say were gonna take some caffeine, Bella?"

"I change my mind," I said quickly. "I _am _tired, I was getting ready to sleep actually…"

"Aw, bummer," remarked Jacob, placing the car back onto its space, and I thought I saw a flash of pain cross his face. But it was gone in an instant. "I was looking forward to beating you again. And seeing you get all screwed-up by caffeine."

"Yeah, it does have a weird effect on her, right?" spoke up Alice brightly.

"Let's not go there, please," I moaned.

Jacob let out a laugh that was more of a bark. Edward was apparently thinking along the same lines.

"So, I guess you have to run along now," he said with a nonchalant shrug.

Jacob's brows furrowed. "Oh, I wanna see you play. Bella here tells me that you're so sneaky you practically suck the life outta your opponents."

I gasped. "I did _not_!" I glared at him, mentally shooting daggers at him for daring to suggest Edward's identity in front of my father, of all people.

Edward, on the other hand, looked at him rather calmly. "Oh, I'm sneaky? At least I don't drool at my opponents' feet for some attention."

"Well, I don't distract them like you do, Tinkerbell," jibed Jacob, eyeing Edward's white arms.

"That's better than having them put up with your sudden outbursts, Lassie."

"Outbursts?" Jake narrowed his eyes, the insulting comparison to the female, overly fluffy collie flying right over his head.

"At any single move they make. Be it an outburst of envy, loathing, even obsessive affection." Edward glanced at me then, and I suddenly realized that I had become the underlying topic of the argument.

"There's nothing wrong with being emotionally biased towards the game," retorted Jacob. "Better than having a _carnal desire_ for it."

Edward stiffened, and fell into a long, stony silence.

Charlie gave a low whistle. "You two really get into the games you play, don't you?"

"Oh, you have _no_ idea," I said, with a nervous chuckle. "They–"

"As long as I win," spoke up Jacob suddenly, "I'd stoop to anything."

Edward gave out a sharp tut. "Even get your hands dirty?"

"I'm not the only one who does that. If I recall, you'd drag down everyone with you."

"_I ensure their safety_," Edward hissed, his voice shaking with anger now, "I don't make them plunge head-first to their deaths, unlike _some_ people."

"I don't _abandon_ them," retaliated Jacob, with an air of triumph.

I started; Jacob had hit yet another, weaker spot. I saw Edward's alabaster hands clench into tight fists, and his eyes flicker in my direction, but he didn't say anything.

And for the second time in that minute, an awkward silence followed, until Charlie cleared his throat.

"_Wow_, this is good orange juice," he declared, inspecting the glass of the liquid with interest.

"Florida's Natural," spoke up Esme, obviously trying to lighten the mood. "Quite incomparable, in my opinion." I smiled, certain that that opinion wasn't hers at all.

"Mmm," said Charlie agreeably, taking a deep sip. "The extra pulp makes it really good."

Emmett made a gagging sound. "I hate pulp. It's looks like, orange lumps of mashed potato."

"It's orange bits," I exclaimed.

"Same gross thing."

"You don't like pulp?" said Charlie, raising an eyebrow disbelievingly. I softly snickered at his assumption of Emmett's complete humanness.

Emmett grinned. "Well, I only don't like it 'cause it looks disgusting."

"I thought that you'd like it, I mean, isn't pulp good for building muscles and that kind of thing?"

"Oh, he earns his muscles through pure, hard labor," said Rosalie matter-of-factly, lifting a single perfect finger and stroking her husband's biceps. I just had to roll my eyes at the gesture.

"Hey, Bella," said my dad, catching my attention, "didn't you used to date a guy with that built?"

I froze, before Edward, Jacob, and myself screamed, "_WHAT_?"

"You had another boyfriend?" demanded Jacob.

"When was this?" inquired Edward.

"What was his name?" asked Alice excitedly.

"I didn't know I was your type, Bella," said Emmett, straightening, and then doubling over when Rosalie smacked the back of her hand against his chest.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I shrieked, facing Charlie, who took a bewildered step back. "Dad, what the _heck _are you talking about? What guy?"

"Didn't you? His name, was, ah… Kit, or something like that."

"Kit?" repeated Emmett with frown, "as in, Kat?"

I frantically wracked my brain for some distant memory of a huge guy I might have dated, but came up with nothing. "Dad, are you sure you're not confusing me with mom? Maybe _she _dated a guy called Kit." I glanced at Edward and Jacob, whose livid expressions hadn't changed.

"No, no, I would've known if she did," said Charlie, shaking his head. "No, it was you, she even emailed me a picture of him."

"What?" I cried. "_When_?"

"Ah…" Charlie scratched the back of his head, which only frustrated me more. "I think it was… a year or two ago?"

"Wow, Bells, you sure don't waste any time with guys, huh?" remarked Jacob darkly.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" asked Edward grimly.

I gaped at them. "I don't even _know_ anyone called Kit! Will you two snap out of it? I never had another boyfriend!"

"Not here in Forks, she means," commented Rosalie.

"No, not anywhere!" I exclaimed, throwing up my hands into the air for emphasis.

"Wait, let me try and describe him," Charlie said, and I bit my lip to keep myself from shouting in frustration. Fathers humiliating daughters into oblivion, it's a natural way of life, sadly.

"I think you established that he looked like Emmett, Dad," I said through clenched teeth. "Can we _please _stop talking about it now?"

"No way," said Jacob firmly, "you are sitting down…" He suddenly grabbed me by the arm and pulled me down so that I plopped onto one of the leather couches, "and telling us exactly who Kit is, when you guys went out, and, oh yeah, how big he is."

"'How big he is'…?" echoed Alice curiously.

The image of the Big Bad Wolf running away from the three little pigs suddenly drew itself in my mind. I stared at Jacob. "Are you actually threatened by a guy who doesn't even exist?" I asked slowly.

"_No_," he snapped, but he glanced at Emmett all the same; Jacob was easily the tallest one in the room, but he could hardly compare to Emmett's beefiness. "And he _does_ exist, you just don't wanna admit it."

"Or you _can't _admit it?" chirped Alice.

"UGH! Okay, fine!" I exclaimed, "I once dated a guy named Kit who looked like Emmett! There, are you happy now?"

"_I _am," said Emmett, grinning a bit too widely for my comfort. "Ha ha, Edward's a rebound…"

"Charlie, do you still have the picture?" asked Edward suddenly, his facial expression now blank.

"Edward!" I gasped in surprise.

Charlie frowned. "Ah, no, I don't think I saved it…"

"Was it the shock of finding out that your child was in a relationship?" said Carlisle in a teasing voice. I turned my gaze to him in disbelief.

"Yeah, my little girl," said Charlie, with a short, amused laugh. That did it: I dropped my head into my hands in utter embarrassment.

"So where's he now, Bella?" demanded Jacob. "You two still in touch?"

I looked up at him. "What? No! Jake, _he doesn't exist_!"

"Then why the sudden confession?" said Edward quietly.

"I just said that to make you two shut up! Gosh, I can't believe you're taking this so seriously! Ugh, you know what?" – I quickly stood up from the couch – "I'm going to bed now!"

"Hey, wait a–!" began Jacob.

"GOODNIGHT, JAKE!" I cried, turning my back towards him and heading for the staircase.

"Bella…" started Charlie, but I waved my hand over my head to interrupt him.

"Goodnight, Dad! See you tomorrow, 'kay? Alice, I'm going over to your room!"

"But what about the gaaame?" whined Emmet loudly. "I need to win the bet, Bella!"

"What bet?" asked Jacob, and I hesitated in my footsteps. If he heard – or worse, if _Charlie _heard – that I had sworn to become Emmett's personal slave if he won the game, I would most probably never hear the end of it.

"Oh, it's nothing really," I said as casually as I could. "I have to do Emmett's chores if he wins the game."

"Yeah, chores," said Emmett cheerfully. "The usual, pushing hard against the broomstick… scrubbing up and down_…_ oh, sucking up all the dirt… have to get into all those _tight_ corners, you know…"

Two things stunned me at the same time then: one, Emmett's _incredibly_ suggestive words; and two, the sudden and simultaneous outburst from the rest of the Cullens.

"You are _so _dead, Emmett Cullen!" spat Rosalie.

"You are so _grounded_," said Esme firmly.

"UGH, EMMETT!" cried Alice in disgust.

"I think I just puked in my mouth," muttered Jasper.

"EMMETT!" roared Edward.

Then came a moment of déjà vu: Emmett burst into running, with Rosalie and Edward hot on his heels (somehow, they managed to start off at a human speed).

And I was left with a very bewildered Charlie and Jacob.

**A/N**: Wow, that was hard to write… it's kinda difficult inserting humor in an otherwise hostile scene, you know? Hope I succeeded… huhuhu!

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